Does this one cut too deep?

It usually starts with a paper-cut.

It stings, and surprises.

You just got your first taste of blood.

You work it, and a few drops

splatter the paper.

It dries quickly.

You like the way it reads--

like a crime scene.

You stand back...

Does it need more blood?

Yes.

You decide to open a vein.

A neat little slice.

Precise

but deep.

This one hurts.

Heavy droplets stain the page.

You wonder if you went too far.

It’s a bloodbath.

You are mesmerized.

You didn’t know you had it in you.

But you’re not done.

You begin a frenzy of swift,

sure strokes--

chunks of flesh

dropping from your knife with

sickening plops.

At last, some release.

Some blood-letting.

Something real.

Something tangible.

You stumble to the sofa--

drained, light-headed, sick,

sure.

Later, yellow tape...

Nothing to see here, folks.

13 Answers

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  • doe
    Lv 7
    8 years ago
    Best Answer

    You have guts man, well not anymore you just spilled them on the floor!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    Very very good. the description is alive. The speed of it augments verse by verse, more and more. The end is kind of too safe. Yellow tape. (Yellow is the color of cowards.) The hero got scared. I would expect him to expand in other worlds, to become rain, like Joseph, the hero of John Steinbek in the novel "To a God Unknown". Do me a favor: Expand the poem for Gio. Make him become something of the forces of nature. Too good of a poem to end up like that.

  • 3 years ago

    Yes

  • HD
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Reminds me of a cartoon figure I saw once here, a man typing and typing until his fingers bled and then he proceeded to beat his head on the keyboard over and over.

    I think it was in response to an ignorant, insensitive comment I made.

    Hmmm.

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    8 years ago

    Something so simple taken too far... its almost humorous. the way you describe is amusing its almost seems positive its kind of ethereal, yet the meaning is so bleak and somewhat sadistic.

    You can also feel the cut as you describe it.

  • 8 years ago

    Youchingly fascinating,also LOVED C Bolar s take on your poem,funny as heck!

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    move along folks....

    ..ok

    this was riveting in

    a strange sadistic way...

    my bad

    I cringed

    the sight of blood makes me

    well

    no I do not faint

  • 8 years ago

    self inflicted

    blood letting

    your words empty

    yet, no one is disgusted

    as they lap and feast....

    how scabs are formed...

  • 8 years ago

    it's ******* awesome!! i have a book where i write my own poems and thoughts down and i'm totally going to write yours into that book. it's very inspirational.

    =)

  • 8 years ago

    PSI (poem scene investigation)

    approves of this message

    visceral as f***

    good think I am happy or ...

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