Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Guys and strip clubs?

So I know I am probably over reacting, but it bother's me that men have to go. Long story short, my husband had to go to a bachelor party out of town this weekend, he is in the wedding. Of course they went to a strip club. As soon as I heard that, I immediately turned into a B*tch and was extremely mad at him. I mean I understand that he has to go. But i kind of gave him an ultimatum when he returned, I told him that he isn't allowed to go to anymore for any reason or I won't be with him.

Personally I feel disrespected that he has to go, if men respected their wives enough they would tell their friends that they can't go there, after all they aren't the bachelor. My husband swears to me on our daugther that he didn't get a lap dance, and that he only paid for a lap dance for hte bachelor and gave one of the women on the stage $1. Personally I think its disrespectful for him to give any one of them OUR money for any reason.

Guess I am just looking for some advice. Obviously I know that alot has to do with self esteem, but he has gone to another bachelor party last year where there were strippers, and he has gone to the strip club twice when we first were together.

Anyone have any advice on how to get over or deal with it? Or how to be ok with them going for bachelor parties??? He already told me today that when his brothers get married and if they want to go to strip clubs he is going. Where I think he shoudl respect me enough to say that no he isn't going to go to the strip club??!?!

14 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Men don't have to go, my man and I agreed that it's cheating

    He wouldn't want me to go to a strip club with a bunch of oiled up buff men rubbing their junk on me so he isn't allowed to go either

    He respectfully tells his friends he can't go to their bachelor parties if that's what they have planned to do. They all call him whipped but he don't care lol

    Your husband should respect that it bothers you and not go, that's rude of him

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  • This is really something you need to work out with your husband. Other people on here will tell you that you're overrating but really, everyones relationship works in different ways and what one couple is ok with is not the same as another. Both my husband and I don't agree with strip clubs so neither of us go and thats our mutual agreement. I mean why waste money looking at some nasty guy/girl that you can't touch and you really wouldn't want to when you can do whatever you'd like with your wife/husband at home for free?

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  • Jock
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    Sorry darling but you are over reacting to a minor non event that is common place and no threat to your relationship with your man as in most cases strip clubs are look but don't touch. If you are so concerned about lap dancing then when did you last give your man one?

    Get off your moral stand and accept reality. You are undermining the trust that you have with your partner by not trusting him. Next time he won't tell you and you will be none the wiser.

    There is a saying - "reality exists in many forms - accept that and don't stress the small stuff"

    Source(s): Counsellor 30+ years
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  • 9 years ago

    OMG! You seriously sound like a controlling B#tch!

    Do your husband a favor and leave!

    Seriously? He gave $1 to a stripper and that pissed you off? $1 of "our" money? LOL!

    Geeez... Get over yourself! If your man wants to go to his brothers bachelor party let him go! Let him cut loose once in a while and have some fun. If you don't, he just may leave for good. Which in this case doesn't sound like a bad idea for him!

    PS: Marriage is a relationship = give and take... Not just you give orders and HE takes orders... If my wife gave me that ultimatum ("he isn't allowed to go to anymore for any reason "), haha, I would have gone too! In a heartbeat! Treat him like a child and (surprise) he will act like one!

    PS: start treating him like a man and stop trying to control him like a child and he may stay, I hope he doesn't though for his own manhoods sake!

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  • Emma
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Get some girlfriends and go see hott guys with amazing bodies at a strip club for women. Take pics ;)

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  • 9 years ago

    Really, sweetheart.. strip clubs are probably not how you are picturing it. Have you ever been to one? The guys aren't even allowed to touch the girls. Most of the girls aren't even pretty (and are on drugs) -- at least around here that is how it is.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    stripper-themed bachelor parties for anyone over 30 seems a little childish

    if you are younger than 30 then you just have to accept that's pretty typical

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  • 9 years ago

    Wow- this sounds like the controlling male in reverse. You know. THe one who thinks its disrespectful if you so much as speak to a non-relative of the opposite gender. Yeah honey, this is you. You are that chick. If you can't get over this then hubby is going to start stepping out more and more just to get away from your insecurities. Who likes to be controlled by their spouse? You either trust him or you don't.

    Btw, its a strip club, not a brothel. Everyone likes to look at a nice pair of t*ts now and then. Sanctioned staring is better than discreet ogling any day if you ask me. I think you need to ask yourself why it bugs you so much before you turn into a shrew.

    Not trying to be mean. We all have our pet peeves, but seriously, if you want to keep your man you are going to have to let go of this.

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  • 3 years ago

    It pisses me off

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  • 9 years ago

    Men don't "have" to go. My husband doesn't. And wouldn't. He has more respect for me than that. It has nothing to do with self esteem at all and everything to do with self respect.

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