I hate my birthday so much?

Today is my birthday and i turn 18. Normally i should be extremely happy, but i'm not. This is the worse birthday i've had. Over the past three years bad things have happened, since the 8th July 2008, almost one month after my birthday(the last happy birthday i had) bad things have been happening. I... show more Today is my birthday and i turn 18. Normally i should be extremely happy, but i'm not. This is the worse birthday i've had. Over the past three years bad things have happened, since the 8th July 2008, almost one month after my birthday(the last happy birthday i had) bad things have been happening. I have failed everyone and i have made people close to me miserable. I used to be the best student, the best son, the best grandson and so many other things.... Now i see myself in the mirror and i cry for what i've become, that's why i hate my birthday and i know that i'll never be able to be happy again, or at least make my family happy again. I would really like to say i'm sorry to them but i can't, i don't have the strength to do it. Why i've become like this........?
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