SURVEY: am I doing the right thing about my boyfriend?

I'm 18 years old and just graduated high school, and I dated a guy named Justin for a year (my entire junior year), and he is my age. Justin and I were best friends all of sophomore year after we met the summer before, and I loved him and our friendship dearly. It made me happy. When I started dating him, though, he was NOT a good boyfriend. He lied to me about stupid things (i.e. "you're the first girl I've ever called babe/baby/sweetie etc.", "you were the first girl I said 'I love you' to", "i can see myself marrying you," etc.). I believed all those things but I found out later that none of them were true. He also constantly talked about how much he missed his friendship with his ex-girlfriend Emilie all the time because she had been ignoring him, and when I asked him not to talk about her or to her anymore, he said he wouldn't but continued attempting to talk to her behind my back. And when I started talking to my ex-boyfriend again just as a friend, Justin would complain to me about it. Also, Justin was diagnosed with depression in the middle of junior year and he always demanded me to help him and calm him down and he made me feel like his depression was my fault, and told me what a terrible girlfriend I was when I was out with friends and not helping him when he had an emotional breakdown. He and I would always stay up late at night on the phone fighting and crying at least once a week. However, Justin never cheated on me or physically hurt me at all.

Finally, the summer after junior year, I couldn't take this emotional abuse anymore and finally broke up with him. I started seeing another guy a few weeks later, and Justin found out and got very mad. But of course, I didn't care because we weren't dating anymore and he brought this on himself. The other guy and I were together for about 2 months, and after we broke up, Justin and I started talking again. Slowly but surely, Justin changed his ways. He treats me amazingly now and I'm very happy with him.

The problem: Justin's change is genuine in my eyes, but not in the eyes of my parents. My parents think I shouldn't date him again because "the only reason he's treating you that way is because he doesn't want you to leave him again he wants you all to himself. It's a way of manipulation." However, I believe that if a guy really loves a girl, he will change for her. I believe this was the case with Justin because I could truly see it. The problem is that my parents refuse to believe this, and it is putting a strain on my relationship with them. I love my parents dearly from the bottom of my heart, but so do I with Justin. I am so happy with him and I can't stand the thought of being away from him. They don't know him personally as I do. And as a graduated senior and soon-to-be college freshman, I am mature enough to make those kinds of decisions on my own. But at the same time, they are my parents and they know what is best for me.

What do you guys think? Are my parents being closed-minded, or am I being immature and stupid?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Maybe neither

    I would say your parents are just trying to do what they think is best for you and you are not thinking that that's what they're doing

    maybe just tell them all of that, ask them to accept you for who you are and what you do, they're you're parents and it seems like they're only trying to protect you but possibly going about it the wrong way

    Good luck :]

    Source(s): having parents
  • 9 years ago

    your parents have no say in your personal relationships. I have a hard time believing that he's changed, cause as a guy, i can tell you that i would not change who i am for a girl, even if i loved her, because it's not who i am... if she can't accept me for who i am, then we don't belong together. are you being immature? yes. are you being stupid? no, you're learning... sit down and seriously think about the pros and cons, what if he's not changed and it shows shortly into another relationship with him? how will it affect you? think about what you want, and under no circumstances should you allow him to become an interference with your goals in college and your career. best of luck, hope i've provided some insight.

  • 9 years ago

    In my opinion I think if you are planning on going to college, I suggest you put this guy on the back burner of your life. A lot of relationships dont work out at this stage because you are about to become independent. You may find somebody else that didnt have to change. Focus on your schooling if that is what you want to do. It will be a waste of time to focus on this guy and not finish school or allow the drama to affect your studies. Dont push it, if it is meant to be, it will be but let things happen naturally.

  • 9 years ago

    You only live life once, so do what you feel is the right thing. Even if you choose to go back to justin, you're parents should understand that it's your decision and that you want another try with him.

    I've never experienced something like that because when im done with them. im done. BUT my brother is engaged to a complete slut. She only has a playboy bunny tattoo. Nobody in my house likes her because she doesn't talk much to us and she does her best to avoid her. MY mom doesn't want him to marry her but she started to just let it go and let him figure out the HUGE mistake he is about to make

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  • 9 years ago

    Your parents are right, but you are going to go to college and probably live by yourself. Then keep dating Justin until he treats you the same way as before again.

  • 9 years ago

    Well, it sounds like to me that your parents are just trying to keep you from being heartbroken again. Your parents just want what's best for you, and I cant blame them it sounds like he was a jerk to you before. If you were crying on the phone with your boyfriend because he was being a jerk with you why would you want to be with him? That's like a punishment. Your boyfriend should never treat you so rudely. If you were to get married with him what if he turned back into a jerk? You shouldn't be crying because of your partner. If I were you I would just keep my eye on him and give him just one more chance, and if he is a jerk again... leave him!

    Source(s): Myself
  • Meghan
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    You are still not as mature as you'd like to think. Your parents clearly care about you and if you had to break up because you couldn't take the abuse anymore, they don't want you to hurt this that again. I think in order for them to accept him, he's going to have to show them how he's changed.

  • VN-Cop
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    you are immature, HOWEVER, if you want to be with Justin then you should stay with Justin.

  • 9 years ago

    yes

  • Brazo
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    holly crap thats a lot to read.

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