Hi Pete, I know exactly how you both feel. I am a single parent, and I've always been a single parent to an 8 year old boy. My sons father is a douche bag to say it kindly. Anyway, I did all of this while serving my country. I am a 20 year vet of the United States Navy. Your wife is trying to complete her education, and it sounds like the baby has COLIC. I used a product called "Colic Calm" with my son. My sister in law sent me son, and it worked right away. After that first bottle, I continued to use it while he was on formula.
As a soldier you have other things to concentrate on besides a wife & child. You've got training, work, missions, to think about for upcoming deployments. You were not issued a wife and child in your sea bag (sorry Navy term term). But you have to understand that as a husband and father it is part of YOUR job to support your wife. Making that child was NOT just her decision it was also yours. You knew that she wanted to complete her education, and you obviously supported her decision prior to conceiving. Am I correct? You're a soldier so soldier up! You've got more responsibility to help support. Instead of playing the blame game, why not help your wife? She needs your support and encouragement. Caring for a colicky baby, taking care of housework, laundry, cooking, shopping, and going to school full-time is extremely TOUGH! I did all of this as a single parent.
Here are ways to help:
1: Get a firm eating & sleeping schedule down for the baby. Children thrive on a schedule. I know my son did as a baby.
2: If the baby is bottle fed get some Dr. Brown's Bottles as they are the best made for babies for colic.
3: Order some "Colic Calm", Biogaia Probiotic Drops. Colic Calm helps with colic and the Biogaia helps to produce healthy gut bacteria and it helps to prevent Colic.
4: Get the house ORGANIZED. This is a huge help when you've got a busy household.
5: Since I think the baby has colic, get a sling so that you can wear the baby. I know most of your soldier buddies would call you names. But soldier plenty of macho men carry their babies around in a sling. It helps keep the baby in motion and helps to cut down on the amount of colic. I did this with my son, and it helped trust me.
6: You also seem to forget that you & your wife need 'Adult' time without the baby. When was the last time you sat down for a romantic dinner without the baby? My suggestion is to get in the kitchen and cook her a romantic meal. Nothing shows a lady how much you love and care for her, when the man she loves takes an effort to do something special. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just making the effort really means a lot to a stressed out mom. And vice versa Pete.
7: Last but not least, DON'T ask/tell your wife to quit school, because YOU want her too. Let her make this decision on her own. She won't come to resent you if you force her to choose. I completed my first bachelors degree BEFORE my son was 6 months old. And remember I did this as a single parent.
I hope I've helped & Good luck Soldier!
Personal knowledge as a former USN (HMC-IDC) and Single Parent.