Am I doing the right thing kicking him out?

Ok , Im not tryin to be a Btich I love my boyfriend very much but since day one he just seems so irresponsible I thought it was temporary but now its been 6 months only gotten worse. When I met him he worked part time. He told me that his life just changed and that he was going to start truck driving soon so he would be on the road a lot.

We moved in together way to fast I will admit that but after living together for a while he quit his job to start trucking. The comapny he worked for end up screwing him and not paying him so he quit that. Now 4 1/2 months later he has hardly worked at all and Im fed up. I work 55-60 hours a week and never have a dime left cause im paying all the bills. I told him today (friday) That if nothing came thru he had to move out monday. I love him but Im tired of having a 32 year old child. I knwo im kind of a door mat I was fed up months ago but had hard time ending it. I felt bad cause he was broke. I think Im doing the right thing??? Its a bit harsh but at the same time its not right. I work hard to pay my bills and hes bringin me down.

Im mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. I feel bad so bad but its the right thing to do"???? right?

12 Answers

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    He's sponging off of you..

    When you enter a relationship, what you want is a lover who has equal responsibility as you. What you don't want is to go into a relationship and adopt a 32 year old man.

    To have a relationship there has to be some kind of equilibrium, the things one does, and the things the other does weight their selves out and create harmony. But if the scale is pushed to far one way it's unfair and not right for you to pick up his slack.

    You may love him, and it may be hard but you have to put your foot down. You have to let him know that he can't take advantage of your love, which is exactly what he's doing.

    What is he doing when you go off too work for those long hours? Well.. he's surely eating the food YOU bought. He's definitely watching the cable that YOU bought. Also he's drinking the beer YOU bought.

    This relationship has no equilibrium.

    You need to put your foot down, show him your inner strength and explain to him what you want. Tell him if he loves you and wants to be in your life then he has to make a change. Tell him to get a steady job, support you for once, and tell him that you WILL walk away if he doesn't change.

    The key to communication is the words you use and how you portray them, talk in a calm serious voice, and don't use harsh body language. Also you have to mean and believe what you say.

    If he accepts and makes changes, then that's great.

    But if he says he will and doesn't.. Just walk away.

    Good luck

    Xo Jess

  • 9 years ago

    Yes you're doing the right thing. He's just that kind of "slacker" guy and he's never going to change. At this point, he knows he can rely on you to just let him slack off and you'll pay the bills, so he's taking advantage. Also sounds like the type to always blame his job or something else for why he isn't workig anymore, but really it's all him and he's never going to change. Follow threw with kicking him out and in the long run, you're going to be much stronger, and much happier.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I would kick him out as well. If someone is not contributing anything to the relationship or the household, then why would you want to keep a person like that around? It's like you're living alone anyway...

    I agree that it sounds like you have an overgrown child in your hands...I believe you are doing the right thing. It looks as though he is taking advantage of your's like if you are giving him everything why would he want to get off his butt and look for a job? So dont reinforce his behavior. He can come back to your life when he gets his act together (if you even want him by then).

  • 9 years ago

    I'd sorta talk to him first, give him a bit of a warning. I understand, truly I do, but if you kick him out now and he's broke, he won't be in a very good position, you know?

    And relationships are all about trust and communication. So go talk to him, tell him how you feel/have felt for a while, and give him some kind of a chance to make it up to you if he can. If he doesn't, THEN throw him out.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 3 years ago

    Your husband did the main suitable component. perhaps he will strengthen up and take some accountability. in case you and your husband determine to take him back, make him sign an contract asserting he has a undeniable volume of time to discover a job, help pay for food and utilities. If he would not, kick him out back.

  • Jen M
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    You already have answered your own question, stick to your conviction.

    I will only say this Dr. Phil has often said "the biggest predictor of future behavior is past behavior." I have found that to hold pretty true. Sure sometimes people will surprise you and change however, do you want to gamble your future on the slim possibility that he is one of the few.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You shouldn't have to support both of you. He needs to get up off his but and try to help out, whether it's around the house or trying to find a job. You did the right thing!:)

  • 9 years ago

    Hey there,

    I'd say, if you're not happy anymore and it's more work than enjoyment, the relationship is obviously failing and you should end it. You can't keep trying forever with someone who just keeps making your life hard. Do it girl. :)

  • 9 years ago

    This is very common; guys you see are just lazy.. you have to explain and thoroughly explain to him why you feel this way.. you have to tell him ur emotions so he can be the man u want him to be.. he is a man and if he loves you enough he will do w/e possible to spend his life with u good luck

    Source(s): <3
  • 9 years ago

    I think he should stay out of the house until he finds a decent job. Try helping him find one on your free time.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.