Why does my dad hate me for being gay (long story)?

My dad is putting me down and making me feel bad. He keeps asking me why I don't go to church and I told him I have not gone to church in years and never plan to. He said that I need to stop this and get a life and start going back so God can help me. I said WTF? I live my life as I choose. You and mom raised me and now I live the life I want. Then he went on about how being gay was wrong and how I was doomed to a life that is just terrible and how I am a nobody and how I will never graduate from college and end up working at a supermarket making minimum wage and how no guy in the world would ever date me.

I want to believe that God still loves me no matter what but with a dad like mine it is hard to believe. I guess I was expecting a lot from the man who used to make me get naked as a kid just so he could beat the crap out of me with the belt until my body was red all over. I have post traumatic stress disorder so I barely sleep. 5 out of 7 nights of the week I do not sleep. My mom and little sis both know I'm gay and they are ok with it and mom even said she was proud of me. She told my dad that if he did not accept me as his gay son she would leave him so he accepted. I want my dad to accept me because he wants to not because someone made him. But now he ever since yesterday he has been hurting my feelings. I got no sleep last night. I was up so anxious to know some answers and was crying and crying because I feel that no one likes me for who I am. When I was in high school all my friends got up and left me because they said they did not want to be friends with a gay guy. I remember that day all to well when they got up all 5 of them and moved to a different table. I barely have friends except for the people here on yahoo that I meet and my one guy friend who lives in my town.

I am 22 years old now and a college student. My town is homophobic and I see no gays here and if there are any gay singles they are hiding. There are no LGBT centers here and no gay clubs either. Money is a problem because I can't drop out of school and I have tuition and rent to pay so moving is not an option now. I am so sad and depressed I just feel like ending the pain once and for all. This morning I went to work out at the gym and when I came out all I wanted to do was to run my car into the nearest building hoping it killed me. I kept thinking of suicide all last night saying if I was not good enough for my dad I was not good enough for anyone. My mom said she would have another talk with him but I doubt he will listen. He knows she will not leave him. These are empty words she says to fool him.

What should I do? All I want is to be loved by someone and I do not have that. Am I such a bad person that I am going burn in hell like everyone tells me? Does God hate me for being gay? I am proud to be gay but with my life it is so bad I just want to end it and like now.

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ok first of all, your not a nobody.

    Your my John!

    Secondly don't hurt yourself! That's the last thing we all want to ever happen! And remember you're not the only one that feels this way! I used to want to just end it all, but then I remember I have people like you to look forward!

    Thirdly you are not a bad person at ALL!

    God is what you make him.... And he is so holy and great then he'll love you for you and only you! What your dad says/thinks does NOT matter! The only people you need to love is those who love you back!

    So if your still feeling bad and not sure how to console with yourself you know how to contact me!

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Mr. Popzingo is right. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfQJ_V9K3EM

    Youtube thumbnail

    and this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-UrQCQNaZg

    Youtube thumbnail

    &feature=related

    note: Brian and Daniel are AWESOME. contact them if you have any questions or want to talk.

    No, God does not hate you for being gay.

    I strongly believe that the only thing that is unnatural in sexuality is doing something you're not comfortable with. If it doesn't feel right to you to have sex with a girl, don't do it. that's unnatural for you and so it's wrong for you.

    But if it feels amazing for you to have sex with another guy, or if you fantasize and love guys, that's good. That's ok. That's natural for you, and so it's right. What's natural for you is the way you were made. So God loves you for that, because He made you like that and so that's how He meant you to be. He loves you for sticking to what's right for you, and what is thus good.

    Sounds like you've been through a lot. I admire your tenacity, faith and ability to express yourself.

    You should find someone to talk to. I think it would really help, just having someone to listen to you. Of course a real-life person is better, but if you need a quiet but accepting listener I'll be here for you: lllexx@yahoo.com

    I'm a questioning girl so we can talk.

    Your dad sounds pretty unstable. Your mom is not helping if she has stood by silently all this time.

    most of all, it gets better. Breathe. It gets better.

    I cannnot fathom your emotion right now, because even though my parents hate LGBT, I am in a school with a supportive LGBT community. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have that. My advice is: get out of there and into a safe, open-minded place as soon as you can. Until then, use the internet. It's a real life-saver when it comes to escaping bad situations like this.

    Get some email buddies. Watch It Gets Better videos on youtube. See what you can do. Join facebook support groups. Vent to people online.

    My heart goes out to you. I'll be sending thoughts and prayers your way, please keep me posted. It does get better.

    Lex

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  • 9 years ago

    your farther sounds like he has problems, he physically abused you as a child and is now emotionally abusing you, he will probably never accept the fact that you are gay and that is something that you will have to come to terms with. however you should not live your life for his acceptance, it is good that you are proud of who you are and you should continue to be proud of that.

    i am an atheist so perhaps i am unqualified when it comes to speaking on behalf of god, however if there is a god out there then they certainly don't hate you, after all, they created you to be gay. you just have to stay positive, you have a great mother who has accepted you and you can live your life as you choose.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Are you your parents only son? If so, then nothing else you've written matters as much to him as the fact you won't ever be giving them any biological grandchildren, even if he never brings that aspect up. Everything else he's mentioned might matter to him but it is mostly a smoke screen for that.

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  • 9 years ago

    You do. Your mom and your sister love you, and your dad has serious mental issues. You're not a bad person at all, you're just gay. Just like straight people are just straight. Your life will get better, I promise. Just hang in there. :)

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    SURVIVE. Live the life, lie ain't easy even for straight people, every got issues, you are not the first gay hated for his dad. Love yourself, and fight, don't give up, at less you want, because only those who desire to live deserve to do it

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO BE GAY ITS ILLEGAL YA DUMB A S S

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Source(s): Please watch it.
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