Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 9 years ago

Is this a good plot for a novel/book?

I've written novels/books since I was very young. I'm working on one right now, and I'm wondering if the plot that I've chosen is good. It's about a 12-year-old girl named Adrian Marshal, who is kidnapped from her home and taken to a research center for scientific study on her, where she meets tons of other girls her age, who were also abducted. Here is what I have so far....

CHAPTER ONE

I awoke to the sound of the front door opening. Everyone was already home and in bed. Could it be a break-in? I laid in my bed, perfectly still. Maybe Mom or Dad went out to smoke or something, I thought. Or they went out to get something from the car? But what? I heard footsteps, coming up the stairs. They seemed to go in the direction of my parents' room. I then heard a door open and close. Then silence. No sound whatsoever, except for maybe the crickets in the night outside. I looked at my alarm clock. 12:02am. I had only been asleep for maybe 30 minutes to 45. There was no school; it was summertime. I started to doze off again, when I heard my parents' door open and close again. Then the footsteps. What was going on? This time it was the door to my older sister's room that opened and closed. Then the same old silence. This was starting to get creepy. I started to panic. My heart beat loud in my ears. My breathing quickened and hardened. Then I heard my sister's door open and close again. Then, the footsteps. I clutched the cover. They were coming to my room. Now that I thought of it, the footsteps sounded like more than one person. Two people maybe, or even three. I knew something was wrong, probably terribly wrong. Horribly wrong. The footsteps stopped, and I heard my doorknob shake. I quickly shut my eyes tightly and turned over, with my back to the door. Then the door opened.

"Is she asleep?" That was not a familiar voice at all. It was a man's voice, deep.

"Shush! Do you want to wake her up?" Another deep man's voice.

"Where is she going to run to? There's no one left in the house." What did they mean? I started to tear up. What would they do to me? I had heard stories of 12-year-old little girls like me being kidnapped, and they either never turned up, or they were killed, raped even. I held the cover to my mouth with my hand, to keep quiet.

"Should we do away with her like the others, or keep her?"

"Well she looks old enough."

Then I felt two pairs of hands pick me up and put me in a sack. Felt like a pillow case or something. But I'm too big for a pillow case to fit me. Where were they taking me? I stayed perfectly still. Then I thought for a minute. What was I doing? I HAD to fight back! I wasn't a terribly good fighter, but I was surely strong. So I took a deep breath and kicked as hard as I could. The "sack" was dropped, and I landed on my back with a thud. It knocked the wind out of me, but I had to get up.

"Hey!" One man yelled. Without looking back, I started running to the kitchen, to the back door. I hoped that it wasn't locked. But they caught up with me. They grabbed me and picked me up.

"No! No! No!" I cried and screamed as loud as I could. "Help!" I screamed over and over again. "Mom! Dad! Avery!" My sister's name was Avery. But there was no answer. Then I felt a sharp pinch in my neck. A needle, maybe? Everything got blurry and I relaxed. My heart rate slowed down, and everything slowly turned black. Whatever happened after that was a mystery. Wherever they took me, whatever they might have done to me, was unknown.

CHAPTER TWO

I woke up in a white room. The walls were white, the floors were white, the machines were white, the bed I was strapped to was white. Everything white. I tried to move my arms, but the leather straps holding me down were too tight. There was even a strap on my forehead. Where was I? What did they want from me? A bright light came on and blinded me. I closed my eyes tight, because I couldn't block it with my hands, and I couldn't turn my head. Then I heard footsteps.

"Hello? What do you want!" I screamed.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Miles. And you are?" It was a man. He had a funny accent. British, maybe? I said nothing. I slowly tried to open my eyes to see him, but the lights were way too bright.

"Not wanting to talk, hm?" He chuckles. "Then allow me. My name is Dr. Wesley Miles. You're probably wondering why you're here, hm?

3 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your plot is relatively interesting (reminds of The Shack, but from a different perspective), but I think you should take some courses on how to write novels or short stories. Your sentences are constructed like the stuff lower level sophomores crank out in high school. By the way, thoughts have quotation marks around them. Example: Church sucked yesterday, but then I thought, "Going to church again won't be so bad."

    And what 12 year old knows the term "heart rate"?

    Do some grammar checking and build your vocabulary a little. After doing those two things, I think you have the potential to create some really interesting work.

    Source(s): writer; fresh out of AP English
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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I would like the chapters to be a little longer. but if this book was out on the shelf id totally buy it!:D its really good.

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Sounds like it would be a great novel.

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