Anonymous
Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 10 years ago

I am a failure at life?

This is why i am a failure at life.

I suck at construction work, so i can't become a builder or carpenter.

i suck at school i am getting 70% for most of my class expect maths 50% (I don't study, because i just don't have the motivation to study). This equals to be an ATAR of 45 so uni is out of the question. (time to get a job at McDonalds)

My one talent is acting, but here's the kicker i get stage fright and can't get over it (being an actor out of the question).

I have two friends, they refuse to hang out with me outside of school, they are always going to the movies and other places without me.

My last girlfriend was in year 6 (12 years old) i am now in year 12 (18 years old) and girls wont even acknowledge my existence E.G talk to me.

So am i a failure at life or is this a normal feeling at the age of 18?

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't know you, so I am going to base my comments strictly on what you've shared.

    1. Lots of people suck at construction work. Including me. I am a man with a wife and kids and I hire guys to redo my shingles, change the oil in my truck, and re-tile my bathroom. I can't do that stuff.

    2. I teach high school and 70% is my class average, and my kids are actually pretty smart. They'll probably average closer to 80% on their English final exams. This is probably a lot like you. By the way, I suck at math too, which is why I teach only English.

    3. I was so scared to act and public speak in high school that I avoided taking drama, opting instead for social sciences and business courses. Now I teach and have to "perform" every day. My first job ten years ago was teaching drama. It's amazing how time can change a person.

    4. I don't live in my hometown, and the only person I still hang out with from this town is my wife. We married five years after we graduated. We never had any connection for the five years we went to school together. It's funny how things work out. Having friends in high school doesn't guarantee they'll be around later, and not having friends doesn't mean you won't make any after you leave the little, dramatic world of high school.

    5. I never had a girlfriend in high school. I like to think it was by choice, but I know I was also scared of rejection. In college there, were girls here and there, but not once did I ever use the words "love....I....you" in the same sentence with any of them. The first time I did and meant it, I said it to the girl whom I'd marry. I wanted girlfriends at different times and Jack Daniels, God, and Capt. Morgan know that I tried! In the end, I fell in love by fluke...it just kind of happened. I found what I wanted and I didn't even really know at the time that I was looking.

    LIfe is like that sometimes. We are supposed to life for 85 years or so, and for many people, the first 18 can be pretty brutal. Some deal with abusive parents, some lose family members, some a poor, some are rich but are still miserable. I teach kids how to write research papers and literary analysis, but sometimes I wish I could help them figure out the truly important things in life: how to ask a girl out, how to deal with rejection, how to not hate their parents, how to learn from loss, how to become confident...this list goes on.

    If you can get away from your school and home town after you graduate, do it! Your life right now is NOT the life you have to live next year! We live multiple lives, and we can start these new existences with a simply move. If you go away to school, change your style. Learn some new talents. Take some classes in acting. Start small and take risks. Attraction is about so much more than looks. The most confident people have a certain attitude and belief in themselves that is built after success. They don't have to convince themselves that they need to be the best all the time since they know that the moments in between when they're learning and losing and self-doubting, are the moments that actually build character.

    If you can walk talk and not slouch. If you can start conversations and learn to speak the language of your peers. If you can take your time and let love and friends come to you instead of always searching for it, you're going to be fine. The trick is to learn to really like yourself. This could mean exercising and going to the gym. Starting a healthier diet. Getting yourself out there to meet people, but not for the sake of just talking. People often get to know each other while doing something else. Take a photography course, or learn a language, or attend an improv class if you any of that kind of stuff where you live.

    When you're 38 and you look back at your worries when you were 18, you'll laugh. I am sure of it. But, to be able to get to this point, you need to start making your life around you better starting tomorrow. YOu can't wait for life around you to change. This all sounds so cliche and cheesy, but trust me, it's all true. Good luck, and to answer your final questions, your feelings are definitely shared by many 18 years olds, but also those in their 20s, 30s, and 50s!! You can fail a test. You can lose a soccer game. But to say that you're a failure in life is ridiculous, cause the truth is, you haven't even come close to even starting your life!!

  • Faulk
    Lv 4
    10 years ago

    You're in Australia right?

    Don't worry about girls, friends or a job, it'll all come with time.

    If you're 18 and you're in Aus I'm pretty sure you can take the special entry test to get into uni. It might vary by state so look it up to be sure. But the special entry test is heaps easy, and you don't have to do all that well unless you're trying to get into like, medicine and all that high ATAR shhit. Consider doing drama or performing arts or whatever it's called at uni. It's a whole different environment there and everyone's so much more chilled out than high school.

    Yes, these are fairly normal feelings for an 18 year old, but they will pass and everything will be fine. Just relax.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Yes, overcoming failure, one needs to give another confident try learning a great deal from the mistakes of the past because one only understands the true meaning of success after one has failed before,tried again and suceeded.

  • 10 years ago

    NOBODY can say They're a "failure at Life"- until They're at LEAST 80 years old !! And since you're STILL in School & learning how to Handle it; you've barely begun to LIVE it !! So STOP feeling Sorry for Yourself- & GET Your ACT- Together !! The Future is in YOUR Hands. -It's up to YOU- to make Something of It ! :)

    Source(s): SOME things Depend on You.
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  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Keep your head up man. Once you find out what your passion is the motivation will come. If your passion is acting, research ways to get over stagefright. Believe me it can be done of you dedicate yourself to it. About the girls, you'll find someone who makes you happy soon, just keep your confidence up. Girls dig confidence over anything

  • 10 years ago

    Normal feeling.

    Change your attitude, change your life.

    Oh yes, and keep in mind that most people can live to be 80 to 100, so you still have 75-80% of this 'life' left!

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