Serious answers only please (Kinda long, but I really need help)?

Ok, first of all, I'm asking this question for help. Keep your f*cking sympathy to yourself, I don't want it. I'll start off in January 2010. In January 2010 I attempted suicide by overdosing. I didn't succeed and became a cutter/burner. In May 2010 my parents found out about all this, and sent... show more Ok, first of all, I'm asking this question for help. Keep your f*cking sympathy to yourself, I don't want it. I'll start off in January 2010.

In January 2010 I attempted suicide by overdosing. I didn't succeed and became a cutter/burner. In May 2010 my parents found out about all this, and sent me off to a treatment facility. While I was there, I was molested and so were several of my peers. My parents still kept me in there once they found out that I'd been sexually abused. Anyways, August 9th 2010 I come out of treatment.

I then begin to get hallucinations of a red eyed shillouete man with a knife in his hands. He begins to talk to me and I begin to talk back. His name was Ben. Ben and me became pretty good friends, until the end. In late september-early october he began to hurt me (aka I was hurting myself without realizing it) To cut a long story short, in the end I burned away my upper-torso because of a gas fire.

After the fire, Ben went away. My parents sent me off to a pysch ward after my 3 weeks of hospilization for the burns. At the pysch ward they decide I need more treatment. Now, keep in mind that Ben was the only thing that was a danger to me, and now he was gone. But they still thought I needed treatment. They gave my parents the choice of having me do treatment or taking me home, and my parents decide to take me to treatment.

Well, they sent me off to the state mental hospital, and I was deeply affected by this. I felt like from the time after the fire to now that I was completely sane again. But I was stuck in a house of crazies. (And when I mean CRAZY i mean CRAZY) while I was there one of my peers attempted suicide, and it deeply affected me. Not because I had ties to the kid but just because of the concept of it all. I begged my parents to take me out, but they wouldn't. Finally though, on my birthday (March 23rd) the hospital delcared me "sane" enough to leave.

Since then, I've been self-harming again. I keep having flashbacks of everything that's happened. I feel suicidal (I'm not planning on attempting it though, I don't want to risk going back to the hell called treatment) and wish I would just die. Most of my friends don't talk to me anymore, and I really don't have anyone I can really talk to. I go to therapy, but it's not really working out cause I just pretend to be happy. Me and my parents don't get along, and I just feel like sh*t all the time.

I don't know why I typed all this, because there's not much advice you can really give me. I just needed to vent so........sorry about that. Thanks for reading though. Have a good night.
Update: Oh and starring would be most appreciated.
12 answers 12