PLEASE HELP. NO ONE HAS ANSWERED...?
I've been single for 25 years and I finally met someone I REALLY liked. For the first time in my life I went on a first date and thought "It's him." At first we were taking it slow because it takes me a while to open up (as I told him) and I was even a little embarrassed that I'm shy at my age but he made me feel OK about it and was the one who did all the talking, called me, texted me, made me laugh, etc. Then I became more comfortable with him and started to trust him and that's when things went bad. We were at a place where I assumed that the weekends were dedicated to one another (because all others had been) and so when a weekend came I didn't call him expecting to hear from him at some point about making plans and I didn't hear from him. On Friday I was a little shocked so I texted him later in the day and asked what he was doing and he said (in a friendly way) that he was with his friends. Then Saturday came, I assumed THEN he would call/text and again, he didn't. Later that night I did the same and asked about his day. We had a text conversation but it was very short. Then Sunday came. I knew when he was done with work and he normally texts/calls right away but this time he didn't. Later that night I sent him a massive text saying I felt weird about things, his distance in my mind that translates things are over and that if he wanted to keep things alive we needed to talk about the future of this relationship. He called right away and acted bewildered..What? Sorry you feel that way. I didn't mean to do that. The next few days he was very attentive but then all of a sudden when I asked him to go to a wedding he made an excuse (he couldn't take vacation days bc he has to visit his family this month) and then all of a sudden this day he's distant again. What should I think about this? I feel really involved with him and want to make it work but does this mean game over?
- Anonymous10 years agoFavorite Answer
Carrie, this is another case of detached conversation resulting from texting. It is unemotional, distanced and boring. Relationships are either personal and in flesh, or they exist in print..somewhere on a machine. Talk on a phone, if nothing else, and respond in kind with thought in the moment.
- 10 years ago
I think you're taking it a little too seriously. I would give him some time maybe he does need to visit his family this month if he can't hang out it's ok. Don't take it too seriously. If he is always making excuses that's one thing but being that it's his family I feel like it's legit. Maybe he doesn't realize he is being distant. Take the initiative every once and awhile and say how your day went. Maybe talk to him about it some more and get down to what specifically is bothering you and what he is doing to make it feel like he is being distant. I would try not to be clingy though because that might drive him away. When you feel like he is not giving you enough attention take a deep breath and ask yourself if he is really ignoring you or is he maybe just busy. I understand how you feel though I feel like my guy is pulling away too. I hope what I said helped. :)
- Megan YoungLv 410 years ago
i see where you are coming from. it sucks feeling distant to someone especially a boyfriend/ girlfriend. you may be a little paranoid or over obsessive. if it bothers you that much than surprise him with a dinner date so you two can catch up and get involved with each other again. or to the place where you guys had your first date to live in the moment and have that 'spark' again. :)
good luck i hope that helped <3
- Anonymous10 years ago
The way i see it; to me, he seems really afraid of commitment, and might be rushing things all of a sudden perhaps?
OR just that he's not as serious as you thought he might be in the relation ship. If it means a lot to you for him to go to a wedding (is it your friends, or something that you planned to have with him?) If it's a friends wedding then imo he should be supportive and go. If it's a wedding you want to have with him, then maybe it's too soon?
- How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- ArtemLv 410 years ago
You feel involved because you sorta built your emotional life around that guy, which is wrong, cause look, now, it's like he's using emotional blackmail, you're falling in love alone..
Don't expect anymore, you still have lots of time, use it! :-) Date other guys and don't be in a rush :) I'm sure you'll find the right on e for you at the right time :)
- kleLv 410 years ago
I agree with Eric that you need to make some of the plans.
Make some plans on the weekends with friends. Even if you are getting serious you need balance. Don't put other parts of your life-friends, work stuff, hobbies, family on hold.
- DanLv 710 years ago
You put that no one had answered you in the question. WE are not in the habit of answering unasked questions.
Now to your problem, he may be the one for you, are you the one for him? He has a life separate from you, at this point, his friends have given you more than a reasonable amount of time with him.
- Anonymous10 years ago
He probably isn't interested anymore because he does all the work to get closer to you and you don't open up as much, there are possiblities he found another woman. Ignore him untill he calls and then open up
- MinnieLv 510 years ago
Well, one thing I've learned is not to annoy a guy with texting. They have their own life, friends, and family. I just wait for my boyfriend to text me. Even if it takes a day or more. Just give him his space(: he'll come around.
- EricLv 410 years ago
Goodnight Irene!! That was long. But anyways, it sounds like he feels as if that you're not putting forth enough effort. Just make more of an effort to meet up with him and he should warm-up to you again. Since I read that HUGE question, may you please answer mine?