Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

Does anyone like my poem?

How do you like it? Any comments or suggestions? Do you understand it?

Tattoo

Graffiti on the city walls

the ugly swirl of color mess

a symptom of immoral purpose

a symbol meaning loss of hope.

The predator sharpens knives for piercing

the victims anoint themselves for sacrifice

their drunken friends roar and cheer

they hope to see and drink the blood.

Graffiti on the human skin

same ugly swirl of color mess

a symptom of honor’s loss

a symbol of a crumbling world.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    It's pretty nice. I like how you make of the significance of little things, of "graffiti on the city wall" or on the human skin, as symbols and connect them to the wider concepts of "immoral purpose" or "loss or hope." You describe the images in rather well-used words, "anoint", "roar", "ugly swirl" to paint and give color to your poem. Nice work. Keep it up, I say, keep it up!

  • 9 years ago

    Haha I feel ya... maybe less anger and more description and possibly more rhyme but not necessary... I will give example: you wrote:Graffiti on the human skin

    same ugly swirl of color mess

    a symptom of honor’s loss

    a symbol of a crumbling world.

    How about: Graffiti on the human skin

    attempting the beauty of nature to end

    symptoms of honor loss

    Another's body defaced in art false

    Source(s): I am a poet
  • 9 years ago

    Yeah I get it. You're against tattooing because it's "vandalism to the human body." The thing is, there are tattoos that mean a lot to people. There's a little asterisk on my mother's shoulder. It's the only thing of hers that her father gave her before dying that she'll take with her to the grave. She also has a bee on her leg to symbolize her overcoming her phobia of them. In a sense, tattooing is vandalism on a body, like graffiti. But there is graffiti that has been recognized as a style of art. This makes tattooing, in many cases, an art or symbolism. It is also a choice for a person to make and for you not to insult.

    Source(s): Drawing out my tattoos for when I'm old enough. Don't insult my skin.
  • 9 years ago

    Its..its so... beautiful!! 10/10

    Tattoos ruin the human body

    When tattoos happen it leads to gangs to kill n get drunk

    n more tattoos lead on

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  • 9 years ago

    its cool

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