Where does confidence come from?
Well this is a simple question. When you were younger lets say the
youngest point in your life that you can remember how confident were you?
Now you might say 'oh well i was as confident as I ever was' but what were
you confident in? I know for sure that you weren't confident in algebra, in
touching hot water, staying home alone.. in-fact I’m pretty sure you were not
that confident in things you now find easy. Why is this? well there are different
types of confidence. Many in-fact but here are the main ones:
(i,e sports, playing instruments,day to day tasks) Just knowing what you
can and cannot physically do. Although much of this is mental for example savants
who can play the piano without practise. I'm labelling it as physical confidence
because its the confidence you place in what you can and cannot do physically.
Physical confidence comes from either understanding the task before hand like
savants do which is quite difficult. Or by practising a individual tasks until
your brain understands the tasks and you become confident in it.
(your ability to socialise confidently, take part in conversations, being your self
regardless of what you think society would think,) Understanding your part in society
and overcoming both the irrational and rational fears you have. Or ignoring the
negative responses you might get from society and just being arrogant people who
do this usually give up or receive a reality check which plunges them into depression.
Although some people benefit from being arrogant as it gives them the space and
confidence they need to develop their own personalities. Or by lying to yourself
and acting as if you don’t care about what society thinks, although most of the time
people who do this usually begin get fed up of having to fake confidence and stop
which also plunges them into depression.
Either way Social confidence is nearly 100% mental and people who are Socially confident
just have a different window of perception it has nothing to do with what they are
physically capable of but how they choose to perceive social incidences.
(confidence in your thoughts, your analytical skills, your sense of logic)
Understanding your own mental abilities by comparing them to others around you for example
comparing how fast you can think in comparison to your friends and just knowing your smarter
than others. Or by basing your mental confidence on your past accomplishments such as being smartest
in all of your classes, winning a spelling bee. Or by just knowing what you can potentially do
and basing your mental confidence on your mental potential (which is a lot).
(being emotionally secure, willing to take emotional risks, not fearing rejection)
Understanding your own emotions and overcoming the irrational fears such as rejection.
Again this all mental although spiritualists believe that all emotions come from the heart
and that to overcome emotions we need to reflect and understand them i do believe this to be true
to an extent. I don't believe emotions come from our heart but i do believe to understand them
takes a bit of self reflection once we have understood our own emotions we can easily get rid
of all the irrational fears behind them making us emotionally confident.
(your personality, your appearance, sense of humour)
To be confident in who you are it helps to like who you are in the first place if you
don’t like yourself as a person then it is quite hard to be consistently confident in who you are.
Confidence in who you are also usually comes from others (which is the category after this) because
most of us have to rely on others to indicate how acceptable we are as people. When we
look in the mirror only a minority of us are comfortable in how we look and are confident in our
appearance. Personal appearance is a much more complex form of confidence because it comes from others,
ourself and the media unlike all the other forms of confidence. But still even if you have in confidence
in your appearance you still have the potential to be confident in other ways.
.Confidence we gain through others
(physical, social, mental, emotional, personal)
I would say around 10% or even less of the confidence we possess comes from others this can be
any of the main 4 types of confidence. We pick up huge amounts of confidence from others while
we are young from others around us. We also pick up confidence from others through out the day
if were amongst one of the lucky ones anyway but it doesn’t last that ling. Some people gain no
confidence from others at all but are still very self confident. Naturally we as humans seem
to seek out attention and admiration from others to build our own confidence and to assure us
this doesn’t mean we need it's just that we are naturally hard wired to seek it out.
So confidence comes from a majority of places but mainly ourselves.
And i know i missed out a lot but hey i wrote this quick.
By Leeban Abdullahi
email me and tell me what you think firstname.lastname@example.org