Is this a great song i wrote? 10pts best answer?

I call it Remembering because i wanted it to be about a breakup and remembering one's only true love who is out of their life. Remembering -- by Donald Simmons Donald-Philosopher Simmons May 22 at 2:51pm Ok can i critique it now? Every song--well most songs--rhyme with a couplet or something. ABAB and... show more I call it Remembering because i wanted it to be about a breakup and remembering one's only true love who is out of their life.

Remembering -- by Donald Simmons


Donald-Philosopher Simmons May 22 at 2:51pm
Ok can i critique it now?
Every song--well most songs--rhyme with a couplet or something. ABAB and stuff.
Or just have 2 lines rhyming in succession...

Anyway heres how I tweaked it so it has ABAB:

I'm not gonna lie
They were the center of my life
And I'm not gonna cry
I've worked hard to not endure more strife
(Repeat Chorus)

Lost in the memories
I got stuck in the past
And looked at other great couples' chemistries
Thought we weren't gonna be the last
(Repeat Chorus)

I can't forget the person
That I once loved
Yet I didn't wanna worsen
I didn't wanna get shoved
(Repeat Chorus)

Chorus (x4)
Loved now but lost
It is always a sad thing
But i kind of feel fine because hes tossed
And now i can sing

Bridge
When we were together
What didn't you like
That strayed you and me forever
You could've given me one more strike

Chorus x4

*End*
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