Is it possible to be accepted as transgender without going through a "crisis"?

I'm a "guy between the ears". I've always known this and I've made peace with being FTM transgendered (no operations yet). I have also discussed my "status" with all of my close friends at one time or another. (They are all straight and identify perfectly with the body they're in.) The problem I'm having is that they all originally knew me as female, and they all still have pronoun issues. It confuses the new people we meet and associate with, since I can pass well enough until someone says "her". I'm wanting to take my friends to task on this, but not eager to reenter the discussion with my best friend. The last time we talked, I had major problems convincing him it was even possible to be transgendered without constant depression and feeling a pressing need to have surgery. In general, I know that my friends are accepting/tolerant people, and I've even seen them get their pronouns right for trans people who are more demanding/assertive about it. It just seems that they don't consider me transgendered because I don't make it a big deal. I don't like the idea of having to make my gender identity a big deal, but I'm not really sure how else to make them get it. So I'm welcoming ideas, particularly those on how to get through to my best friend or from people who agree with him and are willing to defend an argument.

Update:

Thanks for the great answers so far! As an update, I would like to say that my friends are well outside any grace period. I'm going to have to talk to them again, and could use some ideas on how to get through them and particularly to one who seems to think I'd need surgery to "qualify".

Update 2:

Thanks for the great answers so far! As an update, I would like to say that my friends are well outside any grace period. I'm going to have to talk to them again, and could use some ideas on how to get through them and particularly to one who seems to think I'd need surgery to "qualify".

4 Answers

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  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would say that there is a time period where you can cut them some slack, but that period is over after 6 months to a year.

  • 10 years ago

    Hi Jordan,

    As it seems you stated in your intro, that you have accepted who you are prior to any physical "adjustments." That is the main thing you need to accomplish, accept yourself.

    I would have to agree with the other post that you need to "cut them some slack." People who know you as female can have a difficult time in accepting your transformation. However, at some time in the future, yes you may need to become a bit more assertive if the "mis-direction" continues. Just remember, friends laud their friends publicly but condemn them privately.

  • 4 years ago

    definite i will, I penetrated the fringe of the residing house and from the rooftop and climbed interior the 2nd floor window, broken shards of glass all over the floor under the window, as I crept interior the path of the abandoned residing house searching for any clues as to the homicide in undeniable vast black letters sprawled in the process a door an illustration suggested: "NO PENETRATION exceeded THIS factor" thats while it hit me it is the place she died.

  • 10 years ago

    yah... thats an issue for me kind of (except I dont pass at all cuz of my voice and inability to bind) I feel like I shouldnt make noise about it since they dont hate me, but they (including my therapist that isnt a gender therapist) all call me a girl... It bothers me, but I feel like I shouldnt make a fuss...

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