hey girl, im 21 and i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years too. he is 21 also. when i was reading the beginning, i totally understood where you were coming from. my boyfriend was my first everything too, so i do wonder what it would be like to be with someone else emotionally, physically, etc. but, at least for me, i dont know anyone else who is appealing. every other guy i meet i compare to my boyfriend, and they are just never as good as he is. its natural to wonder, or even think "damn that guy is cute..." and as long as you dont act, your fine. BUT, as i read your description of your boyfriend, all i could think was that you deserved better. 3 years and you have been on 10 dates? my boyfriend is a gamer too, and let me tell you, we have had some fights. i have almost broken up with him because of it. the fact is, we should be the priority over a stupid game. if he refuses to take you out, doesnt put any effort into the relationship, has an attitude with you until he wants sex, thats not acceptable boyfriend behavior. he probably thinks that you will stick around no matter what cuz you have been together so long, but that really isnt the case. he needs to TRY. he needs to prove to you everyday that he is amazing enough of a guy for you to stay with. i think you need to seriously think about breaking up with him and exploring other options. im sure that your wondering about what it would be like with someone else is a direct result of your boyfriend being a crappy boyfriend. im sorry to say it, but its true. you deserve better. feel free to email me if you need any help. im here for you.