I am so sorry <3 You have something to live for. Maybe right now it seems really bad, but just think, when you are older, you can be happy. You are only 13, only my age, and have not lived a life worth taking away. It is going to get better, but it just hasn't had time yet, because you're so young. You can feel depressed, smoke, drink and have all the sex you want. But don't kill yourself. It isn't worth it. I am a bit depressed and sometime, when I am having a bath, I sort of try to kill myself, by putting my head under water. But then I think about my futur, about the kids I will have, and about my crushes and everything and that motivates me to get up. I hope you feel better! Try talking to your foster parents, they will help.