My doctor thinks that I have Asperger's Syndrome?
But I don't think I do! He seems to be convinced that I have Asperger's Syndrome for some reason. He's tried explaining his reasoning to me, but I don't believe him. He's given me a list of my supposed "symptoms" that point to me having Asperger's. Here's the list, and my reasons why I don't think that I have Asperger's:
- I don't make eye contact, and I'm kinda awkward with my body movements, and I have poor coordination.
Ok, well I just don't like making eye contact. It feels weird. That's all there is to it. Same with the awkward body movements. I don't know what to do with myself because that's just how I am. I don't see how that means that I have Asperger's...I'm just an awkward person, that's all. And yes, I have poor coordination. I've broken many bones because of a lack of coordination. But I don't see how that has anything to do with anything. I'm clumsy.
- I'm really obsessed over rabbits to the point that I will go on and on about rabbits for hours.
Well...I love rabbits! What's wrong with that? Yes, I know pretty much everything there is to know about rabbits, and I guess you could call it an obsession, but I don't see how that means I'm an Aspie, either.
- I have really long one-sided conversations with people for hours and hours
Ok, well I have no idea about this one. My mom says I do it all the time, I don't think I do though. She gave me the example of a few days ago when my uncle came to visit to see our 2 new rabbits (Yes, now I have 4 rabbits! :D). He came around 5pm, he didn't leave until 11pm, because I was telling him about rabbits. I thought he was interested; my mom says that both her and my uncle were bored out of their minds. I thought what I had to say was interesting. I was telling him about the different varieties of Rex rabbit, and the good and bad points of all of my rabbits for showing. Then, I showed him how to show a rabbit, and how to tell if they are elongated or not. Apparently, my mom says that I wouldn't shut up, even though she tried hinting that I should stop talking. I never noticed her hinting anything, I was talking about rabbits. But, that has nothing to do with whether or not I have Asperger's - I'm just interested in rabbits, that's all. I think I was just excited about my new rabbits.
- Speaking really fast and with one tone
Now, I have absolutely no idea what this has to do with anything. I talk fast when I'm nervous. I don't think I talk fast, but my mom says that I do. She also says that I'm nervous all the time, which I don't think I am. I don't think I talk with one tone, either, but apparently I do. I talk like me. I never took the time to figure out whether I talk funny or not. I don't see why I should, either.
- I don't understand jokes
This one is so weird! What does not getting jokes have to do with anything? I mean, really? I understand jokes just fine, thank you.
- I can't summarize anything/I write a lot
Yes, I'm well aware that I write a lot. I know that I have problems summarizing things. But I think that has to do with the fact that my mind races when I'm trying to read, so it's hard to summarize it. I get blamed of "re-writing the book" a lot. (I guess you guys can tell that I write a lot on here by now lol) Someone PLEASE tell me what that has to do with having Asperger's syndrome.
- I don't know when it's my turn to talk/I have to think of everything I'm going to say or do before I say or do it.
I blame that one on my hearing loss. It takes a while for me to figure out what someone says to me, so naturally it takes me longer to know how to respond. I know that I have to think of everything that I'm going to say before I say it. I just do, I don't know why. It's no big deal. It's just easier for myself to be prepared for certain situations.
- I say things that aren't appropriate
Huh? No I don't! My mom says I do, I think it's just something moms say to get their kids to be quiet. Apparently, sometimes I say things that I shouldn't, and I get yelled at for it. But I have no idea why I should be in trouble, because I don't' say anything bad! This one confuses me a lot.
- I like things to be the same/I live on routines
Well...I like routines...again, what's wrong with that? I know that people might think it's strange that I do the same thing every day, but I don't. Apparently, people don't wear the same style of clothes, do the same routines, eat the same things etc. everyday, but if I want to, I should be allowed to, shouldn't I?
So, I have no idea. I can kinda see how my doctor could think that I'm an aspie, but I don't think I am. What do you think? How can I convince my doctor that I don't h
Sorry...it cut off my last sentence. What it should say is:
What do you think? How can I convince my doctor that I don't have Asperger's Syndrome? Sorry for the really long question!
No, I don't think that people with Asperger's Syndrome are weird. I'm not really trying to be defensive...ok...I guess I am being defensive. It's just that I already have enough wrong with me - I don't need yet another diagnosis. All it does is make people have yet another reason to hate me and think I'm weird!
I'm actually not all that surprised about my diagnosis. After all, I have at least 8 other family members that have Asperger's Syndrome (including my dad and possibly my brother), and a few more who have more severe forms of Autism. It's just that I don't really want to be diagnosed. If it were up to me, I would have never sought out a diagnosis, but my dad was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and his doctor said that my brother and I should be tested for it too.
I know that I don't have to label myself an Aspie, but it's no use acting like I'm the most normal person in the world. People can tell that I'm different already, it's not like I can hide it very well.
I guess t
It cut off part of my details again!
Ok, I said that I guess I might as well embrace it.
No, I was first diagnosed by my regular doctor, and then a team of doctors that specializes in Autism spectrum disorders.
Yes, but the thing is that I don't feel unusual or weird. I feel like me. I've dealt with myself for 15 years, and I never thought that I was abnormal. I mean, I've always known that I'm a little different. It's hard to accept that there's a medical condition out there that describes me. I don't think there's anything wrong with my personality, but other people think there is.
I have to admit - looking over all the answers, and what I wrote, and reading the typical symptoms of Asperger's syndrome, it's getting harder to convince myself that I don't have AS. I can see where my doctors are coming from. But I still don't like it very much. I think everyone else is weird, not me. But I guess other people see it the opposite way.
- undirLv 79 years agoBest Answer
Having Asperger's syndrome is not the end of the world and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with being the way you are. It's just that some things about you are unusual compared with the majority of people in society and those differences may at times cause some problems, difficulties or misunderstandings between you and people who don't have AS.
To be honest, what you described sounds pretty typical for AS. I think it's very likely that your doctors are right about it.
- Most people with AS also just don't like making eye contact, because it feels weird or uncomfortable, or it distracts them. Aspies have awkward posture and body movements too and many have motor coordination difficulties, which may make them excessively clumsy. That's just the way we are, but it's still pretty typical for AS.
- Aspies tend to get really obsessed with a narrow subject of interest. Your obsession with rabbits sounds very typical for an aspie special interest. There's nothing wrong with being obsessed with rabbits and enjoying to spend a lot of time on this interest, but it's still a very typical AS thing, and an unusual thing compared with the neurotypical majority in society. You going into details about rabbits in a long, one-sided conversation is also very aspie-like.
- You have long one-sided conversations with people and don't recognize when people are bored with the subject and don't pick up hints about finishing the conversation or changing the subject. This is very typical for AS. Aspies have difficulty picking up or reading into other people's non-verbal signals to for example recognize whether people are interested or bored etc. We also tend to be so interested in our own special interests that we find it hard to imagine/understand how somebody else can have no interest in it at all.
- Many aspies tend to speak with a monotone voice or an unusual tone or pitch. This alone doesn't mean that someone has AS, but when combined with so many other typical aspie traits, this can back up suspicion of AS.
- Some aspies have difficulty understanding jokes and other things that require some 'reading between the lines' and such. And even if aspies understand what the point of the joke is supposed to be, they may not necessarily find it funny like other people. We do have humor, but it tends to be different from mainstream humor.
- Difficulty summarizing things can be related to AS too. Many aspies find it difficult to put their thoughts into words in a way that other people will understand and may tend to overexplain things.
- Difficulty taking turns in conversations is another common sign of lack of social/communication skills that are typical for AS.
- Thinking before you speak is normal, but someone with AS may have to take a few extra moments to process what has just been said/done and try to come up with a response. Your hearing loss may be a factor here too, but AS can be a part of the reason too.
- Saying things that are inappropriate without intending to is common for aspies. It's not intentional and often the aspie won't even realize that they've insulted someone or done something rude, because they see things from a different perspective and lack awareness of general social cues and other people's perspective. You don't feel that you say anything bad, but you need to take into account that neurotypicals see things from a different perspective than aspies and will often find things rude that we wouldn't and vice versa.
- Routines are yet another thing that is very typical for aspies. There's nothing wrong with having routines and most people have them to some extent, but aspies tend to need/prefer them a lot more than most people and many aspies find it very hard to function without routines, schedules, structure, sameness and such.
Having Asperger's is not something to feel bad or defensive about. You're still the same person as you've always been and just because you fit a diagnosis doesn't mean there's something wrong with being the way you are. The diagnosis is primarily an explanation for why you function differently from the neurotypical majority. It's a tool for you and people you're close to to understand better how you function and perceive things and interact with others and how your needs may differ a bit from most other people's needs.Source(s): You don't have to tell anyone about your diagnosis if you don't want to and if you worry about people treating you worse for it. Many aspies choose to keep their diagnosis to themselves because they don't want to be treated differently. You also don't have to let the diagnosis change your life from the way it has been so far if you feel like there's no need to. Many aspies are happy just the way they are and don't want to change a thing. However, if you are struggling with something because of your AS, then the diagnosis can help you access accommodations or support resources that you may benefit from, not to mention that just understanding how you differ from neurotypicals can be very useful. So try not to be upset about it. Accept your diagnosis and learn about it so that you can understand it better, and then continue living your life the way you feel is best. You are not defective, you are just slightly differently wired than most people. I have Asperger's syndrome myself.
- BeverlyLv 44 years ago
What do you think a diagnosis would accomplish? Sounds to me like you are doing quite all right the way you are. I think you probably have Asperger syndrome the way I do - more a personality quirk than a disability. It is a disability only because it differs from the norm. That doesn't make it disabling. So although for some Asperger syndrome can be quite disabling for most it is not. It does not appear to be for you. I think it would be a waste of time and money. (NHS would only cover it if there was some basis for a suspicion of it.)
- C~Lv 79 years ago
You actually do have several symptoms of Asperger's, and you haven't said anything that makes me think otherwise. Not liking eye contact because it feels unnatural, being awkward, having poor coordination, obsessive interests, going on monologues about special interests, possible speech differences, difficulty summarizing information, making inappropriate comments, preferring routines...these are all symptoms of Asperger's. Having just one or two doesn't mean you have Asperger's - neurotypicals can also be clumsy or have intense interests - but having several of these traits does indicate Asperger's.
Some people with Asperger's provide too much or not enough information in a summary. We may have trouble seeing the big picture and determining what is relevant and what isn't. Not understanding jokes is actually not that common in people with Aspeger's, and not considered a key trait. How do you know that you don't make inappropriate comments? People with Asperger's don't always realize when a remark is rude or inappropriate for the situation. Sometimes I say things that I think are fine, only to be told I offended someone.
Your doctor has good reasons for suspecting Asperger's. You seem defensive. What's so bad about having Asperger's? It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, just that your brain works a litle differently. At any rate, if you'd like to know for sure whether or not you have Asperger's, you'd need to be evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in autism spectrum disorders. Your doctor can probably recommend someone.Source(s): I have Asperger's
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- 9 years ago
Before you get too defensive about your diagnoses of Asperger's take a little time to learn about it! There are many different variations and levels of severity of this "disease". I put it in quotations becuase personally I don't think it should be categorized as a disease at all. I am a college student and I live with 4 other people in an apartment in the city, my favorite of these roomates has a mild case of Aspergers, and is currently earning his degree in education to be a math teacher! I think sometimes when people hear the word they automatically think someone is calling them less than a normal person when in my opinion you are not disabled but super-abled. You may find that you can use your knowledge and experience for something wonderful. You could be one of the leaders in research on rabbits one day, or you could help people down the road with questions just like this one that you asked here. You may be able to see things differently than normal people, and it's so good that you accept your uniqueness! I'm an awkward person as well, and though I've never been diagnosed with anything I still know what it's like to be thought of as weird and different. I believe that you are super-abled, and that you could do so many good things with it! Be a writer, it sounds like you love to write. Publish papers on rabbits, write novels, USE your gift! Don't see this is any type of setback or label, just continue to be the amazing person you are and always have been and achieve as many things as you want to in life! Next time your doctor talks to you about this let him know that you might understand where he's coming from and tell him that you are going to use your gift in the best way possible! Spread your knowledge and bring joy to the world like you have been doing your whole life! I hope I was able to help!
- Pedestal 42Lv 79 years ago
Is this a formal diagnosis from an autism-experienced clinician, or the opinion of you doctor who will then refer you on for proper assessment?
If the latter, you'll be to make your case, (though it would be good if you are open to the professional opinion too)
You've certainly said several things that would fit with a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome or high-functioning autism, thought that doesn't make it conclusive.
But you argue as though you are strongly averse to the idea, rather than neutral about finding out what the medical judgement is.
"Apparently, people don't wear the same style of clothes, do the same routines, eat the same things etc. everyday, but if I want to, I should be allowed to, shouldn't I?"
Yes, pretty much. But it does point to your way of perceiving the world and interacting with it.
And getting insight as to why you might see things differently, think about things differently than most other people, can be very useful.
It doesn't come with a compliance order saying "you must now fit in or else!"
Do you think that we are weird, so if you have the label you will be "weird" too?
Some of us are far more sane and far less weird then some of the things the "normal" mainstream gets up to. We just don't have the numbers on our side to make our way the "customary" way.
Yes, I have Asperger's.
" All it does is make people have yet another reason to hate me and think I'm weird! "
Your point is well taken, (You should hear Professor Tony Attwood on neurotypicals!) but that just gives licence for you to think them weird too.
But the other big thing it does, if followed-up, is add to your tool-kit for understanding yourself, the world, and the interaction between the two. How to make the most of your strengths, support or work-around your difficulties, and better manage the numerous idiots you will encounter who think "normal" = "good" and "the majority" = "right".
- ColonLv 46 years ago
Don't worry about. If you don't think you have it, then you don't. After all, a syndrome or disorder is implied to have a significant influence on your daily life. So long as you can improve upon your communication with others to be on par with the average person, then that precludes the possibility of Asperger's, as it is a life-long condition. From what you've said, it doesn't seem to be making your life a struggle or misery. If anything, you would be on the borderline between a neurotypical and aspie, as your symptoms are so mild that you seem to be getting by socially quite all right, certainly no worse off than lots of socially awkward teens. Trust your own intuition--if anyone's opinion, including mine, goes against it, feel free to disregard it, as there's no way they know you better than you know yourself.
- Anonymous6 years ago
My friend (who also has it) told me that I have it a while back, she has it as well and it took a little while for me to come to terms with it. Although I socialize normally and often even have pretty good intuition about different social circumstances and people, I can be pretty redundant, fidget a lot, and have trouble paying attention. As a kid I would say some fairly off the wall things at times. The fact of the matter is that as a result of my "condition" I can guarantee I am one of the most intellectually competent people you would ever meet. I am now in college and have a high average and am actually doing somewhat well socially.
- 9 years ago
Hey there - I can't really say how you might convince your doctor, but i wanted to tell you about my husband. He has recently found out he has aspergers (after our son was diagnosed). In a funny way, finding out has been a blessing - it has helped me to understand him and to know his strengths and weaknesses.
Thing is, he's still exactly the same wonderful person he always was, there's just a new word to describe him.
I s'pose what I'm saying is that maybe you are an aspie, but actually that's not a bad thing! There's a website I love called Aspies for freedom - have a look.
Good luck x
- 9 years ago
Most of what you say describes me. I've never been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and never see the reason to be. I am who I am. So what if they created a label called Asperger syndrome to describe the personality I have? I don't find having Asperger syndrome disabling. Yes, there are things in my life that haven't gone as well as they might have because of who I am, but so what? Would I have rather done things "their" way? No.
So accept the label and than throw it aside and keeping on being who you are. If you are happy with who you are that is what counts. Don't let them convince you (or themselves) you are in denial - just accept the diagnosis and move on.
SOME people with Asperger syndrome are unhappy having Asperger syndrome, but that doesn't seem to be you.