I'm having a Battle against cutting please HELP me!?

My life is falling apart i don't know what to do, my mum is bipolar and she is always so angry with me for my reason, i used to have so many friends they all ran off and hated me and turned into a gang on bully's against me everyone seems to hate me my dad is always pressuring me telling me how small and rubbish i am how i could never amount to be what i want to be and how i could never be good enough plus with my mum shouting at me constantly when i haven't done anything because of her bipolar and with everything at school i desperately want home schooling but with my parents i can't have that my mum is remarried to a person who also have mentel problems so he doesn't understand how it effects me as he has a similar condition to my mum i have horrible mood swings because of my age. and it's always so hard to make myself happy. and i really don't know what to do, people tell me to get counselling but i had it and all they did was make me feel 10 times worse it was horrible. i had a history with cutting in the past, and it wasn't like i wanted to do it it would just happen and i would find the blade in my hand i don't know what to do, as everything mounts up all i have is one close friend who understands what i feel but he's always says things that he has so many problems nobody has any problems compared to him and no one will ever understand how he feels when in reality he's only upset about a girl not loving him. where as i don't know how to deal with this. i feel like nobody understands me, so last week i found myself buying a bottle of foundation a sharpener and a huge handful of wrist bands there must've been about 15 to cover my entire forearm, i don't know why i bought it, i just did as if i couldn't control what i was doing, i thought that i would be able to screw the blade out of the sharpener and hurt myself with it like before then the foundation would cover the scars and the bracelets could go over it just to be sure, i'm really frightened that i will hurt myself, and i really don't want to, but it's like when i bought them, i couldn't stop myself, please help me i don't know what to do :( and i don't know how to deal with this, i'm only 14 if i tell someone i'll feel worse i remember before they gave me 4 councillors then 3 teachers to talk to me, i felt horrible, but the pain mounts up i remember some of my closest friends started smoking and doing drugs and drinking heavily, i thought how could they do that as many teens do, some people think because i have cut myself that i'm the kind of person to do drugs but i would never do that, i would never even want to drink, its like everything leaves me, i feel i'm started to develop bulimia, i've never been able to put on any Weight but i don't know i feel like i should make myself throw up just to make myself feel better, an escape from hurting myself i suppose, to the eye i look like such a happy person people say i'm really cheery but they don't know whats underneath, i have a reputation in school for emo, they say justin emo cuts himself (justin emo meaning my hair is long and when i flip it it will go into place perfectly and the fact that somebody saw my wrist and decided to tell the whole school) anyway they don't understand it, they say why would you cut yourself are you an emo!? they don't understand that i'm not trying to kill myself i'm looking for a way to cope, and i find myself unleashing pain on myself as a distraction, just like how throwing up stops me from hurting myself, i'm a strong person i can tune out these problems but it reaching a point where its all mounting up and becoming hard to cope, please help, that's my story, i don't know what to do to stop myself from hurting myself, please help :(

6 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Right now your life probably feels a bad but it's not as bad as other people's trust me.

    i can actually relate to with the whole friends issues, but look you'll find friends that will stick with you no matter what. Trust me I know because I'm horrible when it comes to keeping a steady friendship but lately I have been able to which is a good thing :D.

    Also the whole thing that you said that people think you're happy I can also relate to but hey try to be happy. Try to even fake that you're happy and you might be happy for a while. Also because I don't really have a place to hang out during lunch I've joined clubs. If I where I would try to join clubs because it's a great way to meet new people that have same interests as you. Also being in one or maybe two clubs can be a little busy but for me it's better to have something to do because I forget that I'm sad or depressed, in other words, I'm too busy to be sad or depressed.

    Going to your cutting issue. I would say stop! Also try to think what your mother would think. Even if she has some problems, she is your mother and she wants to make sure you are safe. That is one of the main goals of a mom to protect her kids.

    Your bulimia problem: Don't throw up just to make yourself better.

    Also you need to be more positive about life! One motto I go by is "It could be worse."

    Instead of thinking about any negative aspects your life, think about the good ones. Make a list and when ever you are feeling a little blue look at it. Here I'll help you get started with the list: You have a home, at least you have a parent,hey you're 14!(two more years till being 16!), (insert other).

    Use a diary!!! Umm... also there are people that care about you. Even me who is a stranger cares about your well being.

    Also if you say that your dad tells you that you won't be able to do anything in life, use that as motivation. Instead of thinking that he's right or becoming depressed about it, tell yourself that you will be able to do somthing. Try to prove him wrong. Plus don't you like proving someone wrong (cause I know I do)

    And take care kid. No one has the right to tell you can't do something. You ARE worth something. And people do care about you

    ~ Love, A random stranger who cares about the well-being others. Good Luck

    Source(s): My own experiance and a little bit from the heart <3
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    i might not be much help but

    1) get a hobby like sport or art to make friends and distract urself by havin fun

    2) tell ur friend that ur sorry that ur going through this but u need to focus on getting better first

    3) tell ur mum and dad

    4)get a better councellor

    my motto is treat everyday as brighter as the next. life is too short and also there is always sum1 worse of than u, ur only 14 don't waste the best years of ur life. By this u know between right an wrong wen it comes to drinkin an drugs. u say cuttin yourself is a way to cope all u need to do is find another was like as i said a hobby. People are just mean because they can be which is pathetic but don't listen because they don't know anything. I know it will be hard but there is always sum1 to help but first u have got to help urself

    im no expert but i hope it helps

    xx

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Hi. I can sorta understand what you are going through. My dad is a single parent and has a mental disorder. Im the oldest of 5 kids and because my parents are divorced i act as a mother for my siblings. Im 14 and have been cutting for 5 years and i am bulimic. At school i am bullied and made fun of because i befriend the outcast's and the people who get bullied. What i think you should do is draw, write, or even take walks; they really do help. Im not sure if any of that will help, but i hope it does. If you ever need to talk you can always e-mail me if your fine with e-mailing some strange girl.

    Source(s): Self Experience
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    All you had to say was that you needed help with the cutting. You didn't have to go into your life story. That's what therapists are for. I'm just saying -- few people on here will answer questions that require that much reading.

    As for your actual question, your best bet to stop cutting is seeing a therapist. If you can't, see your school counselor. If you don't want him/her to know or tell your parents, visit http://www.teenhelp.org and make an annoymous account.

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  • Jane
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    there is a lot going on with you here

    things need to be resolved and fast

    you need to go back to your dr

    have the dr's tested you or diagnosed you with any mental health issues at all\\?

    do not compare yourself to your mate and who has the worst issues,that is not what this is about

    chucking up will not resolve anything and will not make you feel any better in fact it would cause more issues for you in the long run

    if you are in danger of hurting yourself you can go either to accident and emergency dept of your local hospital or to your dr or contact a teen mental health charity(there will be one in your area)if in u.k go to your dr for a confidential chat

    cutting is nothing to do with being an emo a lot of ppl do it to try relieve distressing emotions they are feeling

    its difficult being a teen and when you are dealing with parents who have mental health issues and you are also struggling as well when all you want is to feel "normal" and have strong parental support these things are missing in your life

    i think counselling could work if you go in with an open mind so reconsider

    look on www.youngminds.org.uk

    best wishes

  • 9 years ago

    Well I would say don't cut yourself if u have any other close friends start talking to them about what is going on. Killing ur self is never an answer. I really do not know what to say except try talking to God. u need to have faith in him and he will answer ur prayer in some way. I don't know what else to say.

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