Can you help me try to understand myself (briggs myers)?

Ok one day I will get the money together and take the official test but I would love it if anyone could help me figure some stuff out. The only (and I mean only) letter that has been consistent over the last 12 or so years of my adult life is F. I am a VERY strong F. I tested as a J A LOT but I think it is because I tend to have a working personality and a playing personality because my natural personality isn't conducive to getting a lot of work done. Therefore I tend to be more rigid and to the point when something has to be done, but I am not having a lot of fun doing it and have to "rest".

I am beyond confused about which I use more, N or S

I consider myself an Ambivert although if I HAD to pick I am probably 49.999999999% E and 50.000000001 I

Right now I am leaning toward NFP but anyway let me list some statements about myself and see what you think.

Knowledge is annoying to me unless I can apply it to myself. Whenever I learn I want to know how does it apply to me? I wanted to know for example, what practical use advanced algebra would ever be for me. I want to internalize everything and make it personal, make it "mine". As a Christian, the Bible can frustrate me because I read something and I want to know exactly how does this apply to me/change my life? How does this affect what I do, where I go, What do I do with this? I need to act on things. The worst feeling in the world is helplessness/restlessness. When there is a crisis, I will be the one in the kitchen cleaning because if nothing else at least I have control/power over that mess. I hate feeling that sense that you need to DO something and don't know what to do about a problem. The only time this characteristic isn't present is if I am reading for pleasure or entertainment. I tend to like more abstract thinking if it is for "fun" I enjoy metaphors and symbolism in literature and it is a fun brain game sort of. But if I actually need to learn something from it, I desperately need to internalize and apply it.

Very idealistic. The antithesis of a worrier until a problem is staring them in the face.

huge procrastinator. Works well under pressure

a need to be understood a need to run things by others, a need to be validated,etc, I have a strong need for praise. Lack internal motivation a good part of the time. Have a good sense of self, most of the time, but always wanting to know what it all means...Overthinks things and enjoys doing that. (Does the above sound more Fe or Fi to you? Whatever this most represents I feel will be the biggest clue to my type.)

Dislikes changes and feels relief when something work related is done, when under stress becomes strongly J in trying to control their environment, yet otherwise has a very strong P preference (has difficulty making decisions, is more about principles than rules, loses track of time, mixes work with play, disorganized outer life, prefer to plan as they go. In personal life, likes to live in the moment and not rush or think about time constraints.Cries at literally every movie, loses themselves in tv shows and movies, Has poor control over their impulses (although they feel a bit exhausted being around other impulsive people) HATES SCIENCE AND MATH (sorry to shout... but lol) although does appreciate the simplicity of Math compared to the complexity of relationships and right brained thinking, which can be exhausting at times. However, has an intuitive side that seeks out contrasts, comparisons, and memory. Like if they were going shopping and saw a desk, instead of seeing this desk is this color and this size, they would think that desk reminds me of the one I had growing up. I loved that desk, I remember writing stories sitting at that desk and my mom would read them and be so proud of me. My mom died last year, I miss my mom. <---that kind of connective thinking.

Always thinks the future will be better than the present no matter how good or bad the present is. Constantly dreaming of when things will be perfect (even while logically knowing things will never be perfect on earth.)

Thanks for your thoughts!

I promise I will give best answer to the person that helps me the most understand myself. Extra "points" if you can list the dominant, auxilliary, tertiary, inferior for me.

Update:

also, to the best of my knowledge I am an enegram 4w3

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  • 10 years ago
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    There are many tests out there, to gauge your personality with and the many characteristics of all of them. You appear to be describing a choleric/meloncholy, who is optimistic and needs to have control over your own life, while wanting to dream and create.

    Just my opinion: All knowledge can be applied to ourselves. As they always say, "knowledge is power". However, I like to also say, wisdom is more powerful. When you don't seem to have the solution to a problem, wisdom will always show you the number one, ultimate answer, even if it is not what you expect.

    So sorry to hear about your mom. You put a lump in my throat, with how you laid that paragraph out. Oh yes, I can see the writing ability you have is quite good and makes for interesting reading.

    Writers tend to be meloncholic(does not mean sad, blue or depressed). Most creative persons are meloncholic, such as musicians, artists, deep thinkers, writers, etc.

    Like my professor always said in family psychology class(church course, un-accredited), to know yourself is to be comfortable with yourself, as there is no such thing as a bad personality.

    Look up the Jung test online and take it for free, plus any other free online tests. There are quite a few out there ;-) Each personality has its own good charactistics and weak characteristics and everyone has some of both. Identify yourself and build on your good characteristics, while controlling the poor ones. Nothing is more self-rewarding and satisfying, than knowing yourself and what your strongest gifts are, except for using them to make your life and others better living, of course.

    If I were counciling you, I would most definitely encourage you to write a book. A book containing the things you know best and are passionate about.

    I hope some of my ramblings have helped you : )

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