Mara asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 9 years ago

Loud and Annoying Roommate?

Okay. Let me explain the situation... (Sorry, it's a bit long)

I'm a freshman in college at the end of my second semester in school. I've had my roommate for 2 semesters now, but I think I'm officially about to go insane.

She has slowly worn on my nerves for the past year. Simple things like turning the lights off when I'm in the middle of studying. Sometimes she asks me to use my desk lamp, but most of the time they go off with no warning. Also, having the tv up too loud at all hours. OR changing the channel as soon as she enters the room, even though I was watching something. Oh! And she now has this new habit of suffocating me with air freshener and then leaving the room right after while I have to breath the toxic air.

I've dealt with this for the past year. I'm a really patient and passive person. Maybe a little too quiet about some of this stuff. But now, what I can't handle is her constant, never ending talking on the phone. She fights and breaks up with her boyfriend everyday! She yells on the phone at all hours. For example, tonight she talked past 1 in the morning. And usually I'm trying to study!

Now, I don't want to get in the middle of their fight, so I don't say anything, but as finals approach I really would like some peace and quite! On top of that, I feel like I CAN'T say anything, because usually she cries herself to sleep almost every night. I don't really have any sympathy for her anymore, because this is a cycle that happens every single day. But, still I don't feel comfortable making her feel worse than she already does if I bring up the issue.

Now, there's two more weeks left in the semester and as I said, I need to study for finals. Should I keep my mouth shut and suffer through these two last weeks? Or should I actually say something and risk a confrontation?

I'm a very passive person and really don't like to get into fights, but I'm just about ready to stand up for myself and stop being taken advantage of (Even if it is kind of late). I'm sure any other person would have opened their mouth and said something by now, before it got to this point. But of course I just sit back and let this boil up inside till it escalated to this point. Worse part is I don't think it's even phased my roommate that all of this is bothering me.

Now, I do want to mention that I'm a Computer Science major and almost everything I do is on my computer, so simply just leaving the room is not an option. Neither do I want to or think I should just because of her. I mean we're both paying for the room, I should have my rights to it too!

Still... this situation is going to far, and I don't think I can take it anymore. If I did confront her about this issue, what could I say?

5 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Since you say you're "just about ready to stand up for yourself," you may want to take the advice of sucking it up & using headphones, ear plugs, etc. & let it ride....

    Until you feel you and your needs and opinions are just as valid as anyone else's, your brand of 'confrontation' will probably lack the punch it needs to work.

    Maybe try expressing your opinions and needs a little at time until you build your confidence in yourself - when something big comes along, you'll be able to feel good about sticking up for yourself.

    It's really not about being passive - it's about feeling good about yourself versus others.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    if i were u i wouldn´t tolerate such a behavior from anyone. u share premises u must be polite and civil to each other. i understand she demands u to use a lamp, but other - if she makes a noise u tell her to quit it. but maybe u re also annoying for her and she makes it all on purpose. why does she use an air freshner? do u stink? do u not take frequent showers? i have never seen people starting using air fresheners out of the blue

  • 9 years ago

    Find a new roommate if you don't like her.

    Source(s): I've been in College and experiencing your problem
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I would not tolerate it and tell her to take her drama elsewhere !!

    she sounds like an absolute inconsiderate jerk !!!!

    you have to stand up for yourself ! Please do not get me wrong. My schoolyears are over and I was like you : too shy and agonising about upsetting other people.

    and later when you enter the real world and have to fight for yourself and encounter lots of jerks in the process....

    take it as an experience and learning tool now : put your foot down !

    Please see it this way : when it will be time to apply for jobs, be in jobs, you will have to stand up for yourself. !!!

    So might as well start now no ?

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  • 9 years ago

    Wear earphones, use your desk lamp and put up with her for another 2 weeks. It's not worth getting into an argument about it. Good luck.

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