i think i will be forever confused with my sexuality?

i guess you could say im straight. i've had crushes on guys and when puberty hit when i thought about sex it involved guys but it was always about both of the people, not about the guy particularly. i've never considered myself to be very attracted to the male body or mind though. i don't really check them out very much. for a long period of time a couple of months ago i thought i was a lesbian or bi. i've come to conclusion that i am straight but i still question it all the time. it's like i hope to question it. i wish i were a lesbian. i often feel that even if i were to find an amazing guy that i wouldn't be able to fully connect with him because he's a guy, and i keep having these stupid thoughts that they would feel similar to the way i feel about my brother, who i like and look up to, which bothers me, since i obviously don't like my brother romantically.

a lot of times i feel that straight couples just look unnatural but that's probably because my friend who is gay is always saying, "eww stupid straight porn, i hate straight couples", which hurts my feelings. i get turned on by guys and not so much by girls but you often hear that you have to be sexually and emotionally attracted to which sex you like to determine your sexuality. im not even emotionally attracted to guys, just people. i love lesbians and the whole idea of girls being together. i think i love lesbians more than most lesbians do.

i know sexually is so complex so this may mean nothing, but i could see myself being bi. my friend andrew told me that he could see me with guys and girls. i don't know, maybe my standards are too high, but i just wish i were gay. i wish i could feel so deeply and emotionally connected to someone, and women are so much more complex with their minds. i always hate myself for being straight, most straight girls don't even care but i just hate how far away i feel from reaching guys. uhh i don't know.

i know im not some perfect cookie cutter bi/les girl but i definitely don't feel super straight. everyone says they notice things about either sex when they grow up and it helps them discover that they are gay or straight but i've never found guys the be any more special than anyone else... but at the same time i don't remember being super in love with women even though i did stare at boobs a lot and get weird feelings when certain girls wore bathing suits.

for example i was watching this movie on tv when i was younger and this guy was holding this girl captive and he brought home food and he was eating was she was all tied up and he accidentally dropped some sauce down her cleavage and he slid his finger down it and licked his finger once he had gotten it out and i just remember freaking out when i watched it, but it may have been because of what the guy did. there's also this girl that i liked last year and i asked her if she liked girls online and she flipped out and didn't want to talk to me but now she's in one of my classes and i still feel attached to her. like i always want her to notice me and i also freak out when she looks at me. she's really pretty and i remember seeing her in a picture with shorts on and she looks really beautiful:)

i know im not asexual because i definitely have sexual attractions to people though.

i did this more because i wanted to rant than actually get an answer, but some feedback would be great

Megan:)

7 Answers

Relevance
  • Kate D
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You're the only person who can determine your own true sexual orientation in the end. But if you need help doing that, and coming to terms with it, talk to your school counselor or another neutral professional counselor about your issues. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    How come you hate being straight? And I wouldn't necessarily call you straight, but I wouldn't say you're a lesbian either. It just sounds to me like you need to do some soul searching, maybe skip a few rocks, and with time that answer will come.

  • 1 decade ago

    aa - u have got 2 b the meanest person alive 2 say that! i dnt think its the devil and u shouldnt say 2 go 2 a priest and get an exorcism! u just think yr more intelligent than u actually are! wen yr not

    stop judging people bcuz of there emotions plz!

  • 4 years ago

    you do no longer sound perplexed; you already know you're fascinated in women. you come across boys bodily captivating yet you have no longer chanced on one you think of you could persist with. Yeah, adult adult males are extra rather attainable, and you already know what? Your youth are once you circulate out with different distinctive human beings so which you will verify WHAT WORKS. this complete concept of little ones latching directly to a monogamous companion earlier they are even in intense college is in basic terms ridiculous. no one's rather waiting for a serious relationship earlier the hormones quiet down. valuable the belief of "a warm boyfriend" seems good via fact we get 24/7 programming telling us that's what women are meant to p.c.. would not unavoidably make it actual. you're lesbian, or you're bisexual with a reliable decision for women. I say that via fact what you describe sounds like my very own intense college adventure (i'm bi), different than i did no longer date lots via fact I went to a small intense college and there have been no extra suitable than a handful of adult adult males i'd have needed as much as now, and that they have got been oftentimes the two no longer yet attracted to women or too shy to ask (and back then, in basic terms adult adult males asked.) and that i do no longer understand if every physique in that small-city college had ever heard of lesbians. confident, i'm the right age to be your grandma. that is harder to discover a woman as much as now via fact at the same time as different women are or pretend to be bi, maximum of those women are not searching for a serious relationship with yet another female. It sounds as in case you p.c. something extra serious. in case you do not have a GSA or a secure atmosphere to be out at your college, you could ought to anticipate college. meanwhile, you could attempt the teenager chat web pages. and learn PFLAG. They type interior of reach chapters and there may be one close to you.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    aa btw im putting you on a site for the ugliest person alive, you look like you could use an excorcism yourself.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No you will come around, life is just difficult all together

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    go to a priest and get an exorcism so that you can be straight because the devil is the one that makes a person a homosexual.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.