My Husband Doesn't Want Children?
We've been married 10 months now and from the day we met we told each other how much we both wanted kids. He has two kids by two different women so I didn't think he'd have a problem with a third.
Well I suffer with infertility and have to be on meds to ovulate. When I do ovulate he never wants to have sex or when he has sex he can't ejaculate. He told me today that we should wait to have kids when the time is right.
What should I do? I'm 23 and he's 26.
- 8Lv 69 years agoFavorite Answer
It doesn't sound like he has said he doesn't want kids, he has just said he wants to wait until the time is right. It isn't right for him. Could be he is wanting to make sure the marriage can survive and the two of you can communicate well before he gets stuck w/ a third child and more support. So far, I agree with him as the communication in your marriage isn't so great. Talk to him calmly and intelligently. He told you he wants to wait until the times is right. Pick a nice calm, relaxed time to talk to him about when he is thinking that might be. That's what mature married people do.
- LinniLv 69 years ago
He says he wants children, just not now. You've only been married months. Why do you need to put so much pressure on him? That's probably why he can't perform because of stress, like he HAS to have sex right now because of your schedule. You should just relax and make sex a pleasure, not a chore. You haven't even reached a year married yet. Have some couple time and enjoy each other. I know from experience, kids are a joy, but a great responsibility that limits what you can do. I totally agree with him, he wants kids, just not right now.
- Anonymous9 years ago
You thought because he had two kids to two different women then he wouldn't have a problem going for the trifecta? If he was a normal person with half a brain it would cause him to not want one.
You are only 23 finally the man is using his brain and saying what is the rush. You have more than enough time to have a kid so let him be make the responsible choice.
- gmaLv 79 years ago
He has a full plate with 2 kids already. Didn't you discuss the timing of having children. That's important. You 2 need to decide when it's right for both of you. You have plenty of time. Don't want a child just so that your husband will pay more attention to his new family, you than he does to his old family. You know you married a man with children. There is a lot of baggage that comes with him. You supposedly freely accepted that baggage. You two can work this out over time.
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- 9 years ago
You should not stress about it so much. You're still very young and probably have 15 fertile years in your future. Talk to your husband about how you feel and make plans with him. Ask him if maybe he's having problems ejaculating because it may be medical. But it already seems like you two have talked about it and he appears uninterested. You have to understand he already has kids that he may want to embrace before he has more. Try to understand him and maybe wait a couple more years before talking about children.
- ღ Lil' Lady ღLv 59 years ago
This is hard and I would be super hurt, too. First I would suggest don't push him on this. He may just feel stressed due to the extra pressure of having a baby and not being able to deliver with his wife. Second, don't stress about not getting pregnant right away. Try to enjoy each other and don't put undue stress so soon in the relationship. Best of luck to you. xoxo
- life coachLv 79 years ago
This is a time you have to build yourself as a couple. You are ruining everything! Drop this idea-you are stressing both of you to the max. Wait at least 5 years.
- Anonymous9 years ago
You've got a good 10 years ,,, what's the rush ?
- 9 years ago
Hangout with friends who have good kids. He may get it. Don't push it.