Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 9 years ago

Family totally disapproves me joining the military?

How do I win their support. My sister now has her friends begging me not to go. Two of my friends approve, one is a future marine, the other just loves this country but thats it. I dont want to come home to a cold shoulder.

4 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have a nephew who is 17 and a niece who is 18 attending college. Two older nephews who could have been sent to Iraq. So I am speaking to you as a aunt would.

    The military recruiters promise alot. Do you know he was a quota to fill much like a salesperson

    or a cop has for traffic tickets? So he will tell you anything. You will receive job training, tuition for college, and all that. But he doesn't tell you about the Post Traumatic Stress disorders and head injuries due to the compressions of the weapons being used. And about the 7-9 month waiting period for the medical exam for you to receive treatment or disability benefits from the VA. They also don't tell you about the unemployment rate for veterans returning from the wars. It is dismal.

    We ( the United States) are currently fighting two wars and there is talk of putting ground troops into Libya ( source NPR & the BBC). So you would end up being deployed in one of those war zones. Since there are not enough soldier volunteers, you will be deployed several times. The time of your deployments can be changed at any time- so you think you are going to be there for 12 months and they change it to 16 months. Then 18. That does something to mind, because for you to get through your deployment you need to know when you are going to get the f*** out of there to get through the day.

    When I first started teaching, two cousins who were grunts in Vietnam were talking in my classroom during parent- teacher conferences in 1982 or 3. One had just been told his youngest daughter needed to go to special education classes. The other man had a son who had hydrocephalus ( water on the brain). They fell into each others arm and literally cried. Talked about how agent orange and how they didn't know it would affect their children. And recently I meet a woman married to a Iraqi war veteran who has gone through a bone marrow transplant now finding out our government poisoned him by cancer causing chemicals in the weapons he loaded off planes.

    Then there is the games being played. As a soldier you know how you need to fight the enemy, but they won't let you.

    You said you don't want to come home to a cold shoulder. The people in the United States do not support the supposed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan nor Libya. Most of us are jagged. Bush lied to us about weapons of mass destruction and how long we would be there. It is all about the oil. Since there is no draft most of us are not directly affected by the war. We do not personally know someone over there. It is a set bunch of people who go into the service- from certain geographic area and backgrounds concerning former family member's military services or political ideology.

    Don't be fodder. How many Senator's and Congressmen's sons and daughters are over there? Most were members of the National Guard troops who were called up - Palin's and Biden's sons. Take out student loan's and go to college. Serve your country another way.

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  • Antst
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I know that this is not a very satisfying answer... I think that if your family loves you, you would never be cold-shouldered by them. If they would respect you less or make you unwelcome if you joined the military, then there is something very wrong in your family.

    But my guess is that they love you and you love them. And that they don't disapprove of YOU, they are:

    1) Either afraid for you. A military life is demanding, it can be dangerous, it often involves travel, and it can be hard to leave when people want to quit and get another kind of job. So your family is afraid that you may be hurt or stationed far away from them or trapped in the military even if you hate it.

    2) Also/or, maybe they disapprove of things that the military does. For people who believe strongly in peace, it is hard to accept that someone would join an organization where he might have to kill people. It can also be hard to accept that someone would want to join an organization where he would have to fight in countries where the US military is not welcome by the local people.

    My suggestion is, stay very calm with them. Show that you have thought carefully about this decision by telling them that you would be happy to talk about any concerns they have. Have answers ready for the concerns you know they have. Reassure them that you will visit as much as possible. Find out about opportunities available for promotion so that they see you have options for the future. Tell them why you want to join and list the things you look forward to about being in the military (for example, exercise, travel, opportunities to train for all kinds of professions).

    But most importantly, my advice is join if that is what you want. Then be patient. You family will probably come around eventually once they see how much you enjoy the lifestyle. Good luck.

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  • 4 years ago

    Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

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  • 9 years ago

    Why would your parents be so against it. Its a great thing to do. It gives you discipline and even pays for your college in the future. You are also protecting your family and your country.

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