Himedal asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

A cliched Gothic poem.?

Please comment after reading.

Deluge of damnation

The cold winds blew into life

And I eternally broke

The human plague stabbed me

And I hid under my cloak

I took refuge in my heart

The pantheon of sorrow

Fortress of desperation

That may fall tomorrow

I am haunted by madness

An undefeatable haze

A putrefied disaster

A pleasure shining ablaze

The plague of carnal wishes

The deluge of damnation

Conquered my once spirit

The sadness incarnation

Himedal

Apr2011

6 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Cliched? I would agree. Some word usage issues like: 'the' 6 times, 'I' 4 times. Also you seem to settle on 7 beats per line, yet some have only 6? I would think this would be a hard subject to feel and write about if one didn't enjoy the genre.

  • cubelo
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    it is inspired, my buddy. In 3 properly written quatrains you have shown the soreness and sorrow of somebody liked death. S1L1-2. S1L2-3 You instruct of course that for those left at the back of existence is going on. we can undergo in ideas the happiness with the guy, however the loss takes its toll and rises as quickly as we least anticipate it. Stanza 2 is unquestionably interwoven exhibiting the horror of somebody being dragged to hell. It jogs my memory of the 1990 action picture Ghost while two times we see the black shadows coming for the killer and then for the thief / buddy who could have killed to get the codes that brought about Patrick Swayze's dying. It grew to become into dramatic to work out each and every of the deaths because of the fact the white mild got here for Patrick, however the darkish demons, of which you communicate, have been undesirable. Your use of sanguine eyes is impressive and appropriate. thank you for bringing this action picture to my ideas. Stanza 3 shows the dying because of the fact the darkness overcomes the dove. i think something of the stanza is from the perspective of the guy who died as he leaves at the back of each and every of the living of earth. it appears that evidently the demons got here and did no longer get his soul. The star of solace is yet another eye-catching term. i'm happy you're writing on a similar time as your ideas is chaotic because of the fact your paintings is ideas-blowing. .

  • Nat
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    No cliche's jumped out at me.

    The momentum of this would

    blur them if they were there.

    A concise, energetic poem

    that examines, rather than wallows.

    Well written, Himedal.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I like it. Free concepts, in a good order. Last stanza, my favorite.

    Q: What makes a poem "Gothic"?

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  • 9 years ago

    This poem highlights man's ambivalence...interesting

  • That is cliche' alright. Not a big fan of it.

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