Im 17, i have no friends, Im ugly and I think im gay, I need serious advice and help please?

Hey, I am a 17 year old guy, Lately, almost a year now, I have been feeling quite down and unhappy with myself and its really getting to me, I dunno what to do, but just there is so much on my mind and its really killing me inside.

First thing is, I dont have any friends. I have tried hard to make friends in school, but noone wants to know me or cares for me. I feel a lot of the time, people just ignore me and hate me, it hurts. I have been going to this school for 5 years, and Since I went there I havent made any friends. Its hard because all the time I feel lonely and I always feel I have nothing to do with anyone and get bored all the time. In school, people just dont want to know me so I am always by myself, but people verbally bully me and call me a loner because of this, even though I dont want to be alone.Also in class, if I say something people verbally say things to me and slag me and its not nice, so I just say nothing now. I find it hard to talk with people, I have lost all the confidence in myself. I feel if I try and talk with someone, they dont want me there, plus I feel noone else in school has the same interests as me. I just want a good friend that I can have fun with and talk with.

Another problem I have is the way I look, I feel i look so ugly, I hate looking at myself, I feel I have this huge nose and horrible hair just look disgusting and everyone else just looks nice and good looking, i find it hard, I also feel its why I have no friends, because noone wants to be around me. I have heard people commenting saying ''i look weird'' and people just laugh at the way I look, and it hurts, but I dunno what to do or how to make myself better looking, im just really ugly but I dont want to be.

Lastly, but my biggest problem, I think i am gay, but I dont want to be. I really dont. I have dreamed of being with a girl and having children and looking after them, but I have never been attracted to women. I am also not attracted to every guy, but there is one guy I have felt something towards him for nearly two years. I dunno, just whenever I see him I feel something in my heart that no words can explain, I feel I just want to hug him and kiss him, and just share my life with him and care for him. I dream that some day I can live with him and maybe adopt a child with him.

I have known him for 3 years, 2 years ago we sat beside each other in class for a year, and I guess I got to know him and he was a really cool, good looking, sporty and smart guy and I really liked him, I guess I looked up to him, and then the next year we changed class groups and I realized I really missed him and wished I could spend more time with him, so I tried my best to befriend him, but I am so shy, its hard for me. Next we went on a school trip, and one day I sat down for dinner with some people from school who got up soon after I sat down, and this guy made room beside him for me to sit with him and talk with him, which was really sweet and it touched me. I really liked that, no other person has ever done something like that for me before.

I began thinking about him a lot, and my feelings really grew for him, I have such strong emotional and sexual feeling (sounds a bit dirt i know). Whenever I see him, i feel just this happiness inside , that no other person has ever made me feel, just knowing he's near me makes me happy, I just dream of sharing my life with him and becoming friends with him. I think of him every day. Its a year on since that trip now, Ive thought of him every day since and everyday the feelings get stronger. We dont see each other though as much as we only have 1 class together, but when I am there, its just really nice. We dont talk to each other a lot, just maybe he would say Hi to me and stuff. I just wish I was closer to him. I wish I could tell him my feelings for him,but I am not close enough to tell him. I am afraid if I tell him he would freak and tell his friends and it would spread and I would get hurt and bullied for being gay. I dont want that, and I dont want to scare him or make school uncomfortable for him. I just feel he is the closest person to me, and he is so beautiful and caring and touching and the type of person I would like to share my life with. I dream of being able to live with him some day in a house near the beach and have a small family and to care for each other and stuff.

He has really touched me, but it hurts to think of him and not able to tell him.

I dont know what to do about all this, but its really getting me down, and I am finding it hard to handle, I am finishing school next year, and I am afraid after I will never see him again, that thought makes me cry. I really like him no words can explain it. I just wish I knew what to do.

I just need help and advice for all this, anything that can help. Its really emotional for me

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    take up jogging !

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  • 9 years ago

    Start practicing hiding your emotions. Cause if you come out to him when you don't know him that well and tell him that you like him, he is going to close up, even if he is gay.

    Learn to hide or at least suppress your emotions near him. And tomorrow say hi to him first. If you never do that, he'll notice something's different. Then throughout next week talk to him more and more.. If you like Call of Duty or Black Opps or whatever the boys are playing now a days, ask him if plays. If you have that XBOX live stuff ask him for his and maybe you can bond through that.. Basically you need an excuse to talk to him outside of school.

    From my experience, guys don't like to talk much so if he ends up giving you his number, act casual and keep it short.

    Oh, and if he isn't gay, move on. It will be hard, I'm not going to lie and say it's not but you can do it. and if you need someone to talk to you can email me on here.

    Source(s): Sorry I couldn't offer you more advice. It's just hard to advise someone on someone ELSE that you don't know. Good Luck :)
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  • 9 years ago

    first of all honey your not ugly.Because your sad you think that.

    You have great personality !.Im sure you will find some-one.I think your way too good for your skool lol.

    Hmm well dont feel depressed.Try going out and having a little walk or doing something fun like playing games.

    Iknow how hard it is when you have feeling towards towards some-one but they dont know.

    I dont think you should confess to him that your gay i think you should just wait for few years or perherps time will tell.

    For now just umm get tickets to watch some-thing.Like say hey wanna come to the games with me.

    The more times you spend time with him the more hes gonna get close to you so maybe then you can tell him.

    Maybe hes gay you never know lol maybe he fancies you but he doesnt tell you.

    Just keep your mind busy and about friends dont worry some people are such bitches and bastards at college .

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    High school is tough whether you're gay or straight. Kids can be cruel, but as you see, others can be kind as well. You may not be happy with your looks,but perhaps it's more-so your self confidence that's the real problem? When you're self confident, others see that and react to it, when you're not, well, they react to that as well, just negatively. Anyway, I suggest working on yourself, and your own issues, before you worry too much about relationships.

    And another thought: although you may like this guy, and he may like you, chances are he isn't gay. So, that's also something you'll have to deal with..and not just this time, but probably other times too. It's a common thing for gay individual. Sometimes you become attached to someone who is straight..it can be unavoidable.

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  • 9 years ago

    It sounds to me that need to figure out who you are. Once you figure that out just enjoy "your" life and the rest will fall into place. Like minded people flock to each other.

    Source(s): You normally don't see an atheist in church.
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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Ahhh how sad. You'll make friends soon.

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  • Germy
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    High school is lame but university is fun...So, wait

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    hey this website can help you!

    http://findyourpurposechangeyourlife.com/

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