Im 17, i have no friends, Im ugly and I think im gay, I need serious advice and help please?
Hey, I am a 17 year old guy, Lately, almost a year now, I have been feeling quite down and unhappy with myself and its really getting to me, I dunno what to do, but just there is so much on my mind and its really killing me inside.
First thing is, I dont have any friends. I have tried hard to make friends in school, but noone wants to know me or cares for me. I feel a lot of the time, people just ignore me and hate me, it hurts. I have been going to this school for 5 years, and Since I went there I havent made any friends. Its hard because all the time I feel lonely and I always feel I have nothing to do with anyone and get bored all the time. In school, people just dont want to know me so I am always by myself, but people verbally bully me and call me a loner because of this, even though I dont want to be alone.Also in class, if I say something people verbally say things to me and slag me and its not nice, so I just say nothing now. I find it hard to talk with people, I have lost all the confidence in myself. I feel if I try and talk with someone, they dont want me there, plus I feel noone else in school has the same interests as me. I just want a good friend that I can have fun with and talk with.
Another problem I have is the way I look, I feel i look so ugly, I hate looking at myself, I feel I have this huge nose and horrible hair just look disgusting and everyone else just looks nice and good looking, i find it hard, I also feel its why I have no friends, because noone wants to be around me. I have heard people commenting saying ''i look weird'' and people just laugh at the way I look, and it hurts, but I dunno what to do or how to make myself better looking, im just really ugly but I dont want to be.
Lastly, but my biggest problem, I think i am gay, but I dont want to be. I really dont. I have dreamed of being with a girl and having children and looking after them, but I have never been attracted to women. I am also not attracted to every guy, but there is one guy I have felt something towards him for nearly two years. I dunno, just whenever I see him I feel something in my heart that no words can explain, I feel I just want to hug him and kiss him, and just share my life with him and care for him. I dream that some day I can live with him and maybe adopt a child with him.
I have known him for 3 years, 2 years ago we sat beside each other in class for a year, and I guess I got to know him and he was a really cool, good looking, sporty and smart guy and I really liked him, I guess I looked up to him, and then the next year we changed class groups and I realized I really missed him and wished I could spend more time with him, so I tried my best to befriend him, but I am so shy, its hard for me. Next we went on a school trip, and one day I sat down for dinner with some people from school who got up soon after I sat down, and this guy made room beside him for me to sit with him and talk with him, which was really sweet and it touched me. I really liked that, no other person has ever done something like that for me before.
I began thinking about him a lot, and my feelings really grew for him, I have such strong emotional and sexual feeling (sounds a bit dirt i know). Whenever I see him, i feel just this happiness inside , that no other person has ever made me feel, just knowing he's near me makes me happy, I just dream of sharing my life with him and becoming friends with him. I think of him every day. Its a year on since that trip now, Ive thought of him every day since and everyday the feelings get stronger. We dont see each other though as much as we only have 1 class together, but when I am there, its just really nice. We dont talk to each other a lot, just maybe he would say Hi to me and stuff. I just wish I was closer to him. I wish I could tell him my feelings for him,but I am not close enough to tell him. I am afraid if I tell him he would freak and tell his friends and it would spread and I would get hurt and bullied for being gay. I dont want that, and I dont want to scare him or make school uncomfortable for him. I just feel he is the closest person to me, and he is so beautiful and caring and touching and the type of person I would like to share my life with. I dream of being able to live with him some day in a house near the beach and have a small family and to care for each other and stuff.
He has really touched me, but it hurts to think of him and not able to tell him.
I dont know what to do about all this, but its really getting me down, and I am finding it hard to handle, I am finishing school next year, and I am afraid after I will never see him again, that thought makes me cry. I really like him no words can explain it. I just wish I knew what to do.
I just need help and advice for all this, anything that can help. Its really emotional for me
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
ladysman says get rich then everyone will want to be your friend
- Anonymous9 years ago
Wow. That might be one of the most amazing things I've ever read. I would have suggested to change schools and start over, but since you like that guy then that's out, I guess. And if you're finishing school next year then I think you can wait it out? But what I would do is go and make some friends somewhere else. Take after-school classes on stuff, meet people there. Or on the internet. I know a lot of really awesome people through a chat room (not ALL chat rooms are lurking places for pedophiles!) and that's pretty cool. If you think you're ugly, not much you can do about your nose (plastic surgery is horrible and should never have been invented) but get a haircut, wear more popular clothes, maybe find another lonely-looking person and try talk to them. They might be wanting a friend too. About the gay thing, that's really touching and I know someone with a similar problem. I wouldn't say anything to him if I were you, but I always have trouble telling people how I feel so it might be different for you. I'd say try to talk to him a bit more, at lunch maybe? He seems like a nice guy. It might be that you're not really gay though. You might be just feeling emotions towards him which your mind exaggerates because noone has ever shown you such kindness. I wouldn't know, I'm just 13, but people have told me I'm wise :) And you seem like a really cool dude! I would wanna be your friend and the people that bully and slag you are total assholes! Try not to mind them too much, I know thats really difficult though. I'm not so great with advice but I sincerely hope it all turns out okay. Good luck and the chat room I mentioned before is called HigaTV, its for fans of Ryan Higa on YouTube with really funny videos, check him out and maybe go on the chat. Lots of nice people there last time I was on (ages ago though) and if you ask someone whos been there for AGES for Lina, that's me. I'm not gonna give any more personal info because, well, I don't know you, but if I hear someone was asking for me I'll try go on and talk :) You're really brave. Many people wouldn't be able to go on under such pressure :)
- random.princessLv 49 years ago
Hey :) I know people say its best not to run away but I think that you should move from that school and move to a new one, and that wouldn't be running away because it will be the right thing to do.
I think starting somewhere new gives you more of a chance to make friends because after spending 5 years at this school it would just be awkward trying to get involved in a friendship group that you haven't until now.
Next you are probably not ugly and you probably feel like this because you are around people that don't appreciate you for being you. and if you are gay then it is no big deal after all you should be proud to be you. Remember every thing happens for a reason and you are going through this what seems to be a bad patch, to make you get to where you are meant to be.
Stay positive and keep smiling, do whats best for you x
- SeanLv 59 years ago
Well, I think your biggest problem is that you're an emotional wreck.
Gird your loins, keep your mind focused on getting a decent education after your secondary schooling (you're already 17, so you won't be in that situation very long now), and do some research online about gay culture. Join a forum or something, and develop some friends outside of school, even if they're just online.
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- 9 years ago
an 'ugly' and gay person can make a great success in life look at comedian alan carr!!
people love him for his personality. do volunteer work and meet new people or meet people from a completeley different age group. i know how it feels to be low, shrug off the negativeness or at least learn to. work on you personality and be more open and freindly
- 9 years ago
Add me too! I'm Alana Carkido (my alternate name is Missy Demented. Also, send me a message saying its the guy from Yahoo! :) )
- 9 years ago
ill be your friend :) add me on facebook :D sam al conibear
- Anonymous9 years ago
well I didn't read any of that, but it seems like you're pretty screwed.