My 14 year old daughter came home completely wasted last night. I really don't know what to do with her.?

Well last night she went out to a party. She told me she would be outside skateboarding with her friends. Then she comes home like 30 minutes after her curfew smelling like liquor. I and her father took everything away from her, her iPod, her phone, her computer, even her new clothes. When she saw tht we took away her iPod she started screaming as loud as she can, cursing, yelling, punching anything in her sight. We were afraid that the neighbors were going to call te cops. Then she finally went to bed. She confessed to me that she had drank a beer, 5 or 7 shots, had chugged down more than half a bottle of georgi (vodka) And had a little bit of 4loko. I'm surprised she hadn't been sent to the hospital because that's just too much. I and her father don't know what to do anymore. She has done marijuana, smoked cigarrettes before and now she's drinking. She promised us that she would never do it again. But we always get these promises from her. Now she's not allowed to go outside for a while. What should we do? Were pretty much hopeless right now.

12 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Do not take this as an April Fools joke. I am serious.

    Set up a time with a Military recruiter. Don't mention it to her, just go out together and drop by one of their offices. Once inside let him (or her) explain what (teenage) boot camp is like.

    And there is a law that will allow you to enroll a 14-year-old.

    I'm guessing this will put a little fear in her if she thinks you would actually go through with it if she doesn't get her little act together, and fast.

    ** Go so far as sign some (phony) papers. Or consider signing in front of her.

    This might just wake her 14-year-old butt up.

    Good luck.

    ...

  • 9 years ago

    Please know that the situation with your daughter is NOT hopeless but she definitely needs some professional intervention. You did the right thing by taking away privileges though please take it a step further since she did drink a lot and 4loko is deadly in and of itself as it contains both alcohol and caffeine.

    For you and your husband, there is a free 12-step program called Al-Anon and it's a self-help group for the family and friends of the problem drinker (or addict - and the loved ones may attend an "open" meeting if their relative doesn't have a drinking problem). Dr. Drew from Celebrity Rehab tells families of addicts that if they don't go to an Al-Anon meeting that they are being a part of the problem rather than a solution. Here is the site for more information: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org

    This site has more information about counseling and treatment programs for those with a substance abuse problem(s) and some offer financial assistance for those without health insurance: http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/ and can click ones state of residence on the map and continue with the search.

    Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous are both 12-step programs for the addict and problem drinker, respectively. There may be "open" meetings which means that anyone may attend if you want to eventually attend with your daughter or even with just you and your husband.

    For NA meetings: http://www.na.org

    For AA meetings: http://www.aa.org

    Regarding the boot camp suggestion, please be aware that a lot of them seem to neglect or even abuse the campers.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Honestly...as a doctor and as a fellow adult that seems to be in your age range....you need to physically punish her. I know it will be tough but it is clear she doesnt view you (or the father) as authority figures. Right now she just view you guys as pawns in her play. She knows in time she will get her stuff back and she can continue to con you guys.

    Sadly, if and when you do punish her by physical force she will likely leave which is not good. This is why it is important for parents to set the rules early while kids are young so when tye become teens they know to follow the rules without being told to.

    You might be too late but seeing as how it is a girl your husband/boyfriend will need to do the punishing since at her age any form of authority feeling she still has will be only for him...at her age mothers are actually viewed as enemies.

    This is tough but you need to set the law of the land or stick with it. I mean the stuff you took should NEVER go back to her. Then she will LEARN the importance of obeying.

  • 9 years ago

    sounds like my story I am 15 and fell down a path of destruction for maybe a year but as soon as the seriousness was realized. I was threatened with rehab when I was caught and If I was ever that scared before I dont remeber but basically after that I started to step away from that path, this year as opposed to last is about a 1.5 gpa diffrence in grades, @ 3.5. Also I do better and more sports and after school activities and have had more serious realtionships than I had with any of the other girls I hung out before which has given me a new outlook. Please consider drastic measures but make sure you back them up and Its better to puch her away for awhile than to loose your girl forever.

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  • 9 years ago

    Dude for her to drink THAT much.... it wasn't her first time. Usually people don't get completely wasted the first time they try alcohol. Well, pretty much shes gunna want to do it more and you can't stop her unless you monitor her texting(yeah there are things for that) and don't let her go to parties or houses unless you call the parent. Yea, if her friends are older they can pretend they are the parent on the phone. But, it makes another obstacle she would have to overcome, which makes it less desirable to her. Though, monitor the texts because those are a dead giveaway

  • No choce but to be really strict with her now. You can't continue to be as lenient as you are, because one day it'll be too late. At her age, she shouldn't even be allowed out without some kin of supervision. I'm nor saying helicopter mom status, but its obvious that she feels she can push the boundarie to a dangerous extreme. No computer, testing, hanging outside of school with friends, etc. It's eviden the ones she has now aren't a good influenece on her. Stay strong, and don't allow her to manipulate you. She might hate it now, but shell thank you to it later. Good luck and God bless. <3

  • 9 years ago

    im 14, and if you're too strict with her, she'll act out on purpose and she'll drink just to piss you off. believe me i would know. we teens are some crazy mofos these days. Ground her for a month and take away her cell phone and dont let her go on facebook and make her curfew earlier. thats something that would set me straight. but after all you're her mom so you should know best.

  • grago
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    considering she is in basic terms 13 she might have pressures into eating. i could communicate over together with her and allow her are conscious of it is not ok and it is not rather tolerated yet do no longer yell and make an excellent scene reason it in all probability won't help any. do away with a number of her issues, (computing gadget, cellular telephone) and then floor her and not permit her dangle out together with her buddies for each week or in spite of you think of is actual looking. additionally, confirm you come across out who she have been given the alcohol from and press costs, it is so disrespectful to be giving little ladies alcohol and that i understand if my daughter grew to become into given alcohol like that i could definetly desire to appreciate who she have been given it from, and preserve it. i think of it rather is in basic terms component of her becoming up, she ought to be in with a greater helpful crowd. additionally i do no longer understand if she is or no longer yet possibly getting her in contact in activities will shop her far flung from this type of stuff interior the destiny. good success!

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    wow! well as a teen i can say home school her and dont let her off that easy. the one thing that will completelt tick her off is if she wears make up and you taek it away. also you could try moving away. but mainly you could take her to a phsyciatrist and see what the real issu eis.

  • 9 years ago

    Just don't let her go out. Period.

    Really go to show her the effects of what she is doing, too. That's how I learned my lesson. Plus, drugs and alcohol dont appeal to me. So make those kinds of things un-appealing to her as well.

    Source(s): 17 year old boy.
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