Is it normal for a tot mom to barely ever sleep?

I'm worried about my wife who worries about our kid at night. She lays down but stays up most of the night unable to sleep. She listens for our daughter to get up and walk around her room, knock on her door, or get fussy from a loss of a pacifier, diaper issue, or teething.

My wife was already a light sleeper, but she can't sleep anymore than an hour or so per night and it really affects her mood and our relationship. On most nights, I have to sleep on the couch because she is so tired, sensitive and irritable. (If we sleep together, she won't let me turn over or get up once in a while without getting really mad.) For instance, if I tiptoe in to check on her in the middle of night after quietly using the restroom, there is a 100% chance that my wife will be lying in bed awake giving me the evil-eye. This means to "be quieter."

I've been asking her to see a sleep doctor, but she refuses and says that she won't take any sleep medicine because a parent needs to be able to wake up and hear a child if needed. I can do that even though I have no trouble sleeping. So, is this normal for parents of toddlers? If not, what can we do?

3 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Why don't you surprise her by setting something up that would help her, like a white noise maker, so that she doesn't hear every little noise. I agree that it would be a bad idea for her to be on sleep medication because sometimes there is a problem in the middle of the night, and she shouldn't be knocked out cold.

    I think that you are being insensitive and selfish by not understanding her frustration about not being able to sleep.

    Some people can't just lie down and block everything out, or let their kid run around their room in the middle of the night, and cry for hours. Some people tend to wake up when their children are crying and screaming, and banging on their door.

    Remember, you are talking about a Toddler here, right? Toddlers still need attention at night from their parents.

  • :)
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Yeah, She probably should get that checked out. I stopped checking on my daughter after she turned six months. And usually I didn't make a point of checking she would just wake up once a night until then. When she's sleeping I could go into her room a vacuum. With a toddler I get a solid two hours MORE sleep. I get 9 1/2 hours of sleep at least every night.

    If she's old enough to walk but still teething, in diapers, and has a pacifier (plus a pacifer she can't put in herself) she should probably still be in a crib - were she cannot get out of her crib and walk around. She should be in a crib until 18-24 months as least to relieve stress on your wife's point. Also I suggest a angel care baby monitor. It will send out an alarm if it detects the baby/toddler is not breathing. This way she can sleep with peace of mind.

    What happens if she does not at the door? Who care? She'll probably wake up to get her anyway. Her lying awake to wait for this is very irrational.

  • 9 years ago

    she really needs to see a dr or just relax. i have 2 toddlers and a newborn and i get plenty of sleep. moms are meant to beable to hear kids when they wake up. do you have a monitor in your and your daughters room that would put her mind at ease?

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