Changing jobs question. More complicated than you think.?

I'm a computer worker for a popular brand name product. For the most part I love my job and the people I work with. The company has been good to me but is literally in the woods and I prefer the mid-sized city life so I commute an hr each way to work and car pool with 2 other guys. A coworker from another... show more I'm a computer worker for a popular brand name product. For the most part I love my job and the people I work with. The company has been good to me but is literally in the woods and I prefer the mid-sized city life so I commute an hr each way to work and car pool with 2 other guys.

A coworker from another location had a son who went to school for computers. I'll call him Steve. My boss referred Steve to his old employer in our area and he moved to where I live. I have met Steve before but have only hung out with this guy several times in the relatively short time he has lived here (9 months - 1.5 years).

He recently informed me of a job at that company that was a level above where I'm at now. I was offered the job and have negotiated terms that are similar to have I have now. This company knows I have a job and who my boss is, so I have always met them after hours and later at night. They have been really cool and I have had some good conversations with one of the owners. One of the reasons I accepted this job was because I would get to work with Steve.

Turns out now that I have verbally accepted the offer Steve wants to get in touch with my boss, swoop in on my old job, and move and hour in the other direction to be closer to his GF while shes in school. I haven't said a word to my current employer and haven't singed anything with the new company. I now have second thoughts on taking this job knowing what I know now.

Do I stay put? - Let the current employer know that I have applied before without a call back and this time I'm not comfortable now based on the Steve precedent and maybe in the future the third times the charm, in a respectful manner. I don't want to burn any bridges and this owner seems cool and understanding.

Do I still leave my old job, take my career to the next level, and save 2 hrs commute every business day for a job I could dred? - Even commuting I can stand to make more money with overtime being hourly compared to taking this salary job. I can depend on the car pool to last forever and gas is unpredictable.

Like I said my current company is in the woods, has a tough time keeping technical people, and is in the middle of implementing SAP. Do I take this offer and turn in a letter of resignation just to see if they will step up to the plate and pay me? Keep in mind that my current boss knows the owner of the company I may go to. Anyone can be replaced but I have been there 4 years, know some of the companies systems like the back of my hand, and I believe I'm a critical piece of our 4 person team.

If I do leave, whats the best way to handle the awkward couple of weeks between me turning in my resignation and me actually leaving.

Anyone have any thoughts for me?
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