I want to die, only older people answer?

I just turned 60 years old and I don't think this is a good place for an old bag like me because most of you are in your teens or prepubescent and I'm not looking for answers from you young ones who don't have a clue about life (although you think you do).

I hate my life and I want to end it. My husband is an abusive alcoholic. My daughter is a drug addict who never gets in touch with me unless she wants money or a favor. She has poisoned my grandsons minds against me that they misbehave and don't respect me. I am on on Social Security disability because I can't work. Although I have an MBA, I never was able to find a good-paying job and that's part of the reason for my disability. I got so depressed and then that same daughter was in a bad car wreck and almost died. My mother lives with me and I take care of all the bills. I can work a little bit to supplement the pittance with another pittance I get from Social Security, but the industry I work in out of my house is going belly up and I'm on a sinking ship. I can't work on the outside. And besides, who will hire an old woman with an MBA with only secretarial experience? They go for the 20-somethings, not old hags like me. And if I did get hired, I wouldn't be able to keep a job anyway.

I have come to the point of realizing that at this point in my life I'm not where I thought I would be and not really enough time to turn it around. I don't know how many more years I have left in this hell called life, but let's give it the benefit of the doubt and say I will live to be 80. That's 20 more years of suffering and aging and growing older and uglier each day. I don't think I can take it. My mother is in her early 80s and is sick and frail and I'm just waiting for when she goes, because I'm going, too. There's nothing left for me here. Not even my drug addicted daughter and her kids who hate me for no reason, and the abusive alcoholic could kiss my behind.

9 Answers

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  • Mary H
    Lv 6
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    I think you are in a deep depression, we all go through it, believe me! I nursed my Husband for 10 years with depression and then Parkinsons, having had joint replacements for arhiritic joints, has'nt made my life much easier. The Family are all doing what they are good at, and the occasional duty visit seems to make them feel better! alth'o, it does'nt do much for me! But, having said all that,life is very precious, and what is more, you wont go until your time comes! You need to get away from all of your burdens, make yourself homeless and start afresh. You are not old by todays standards, and alth'o it does'nt help a lot, there are people worse off than you and I! I have got myself involved in a bit of Voluntary work, it is great fun, and alth'o I only go once a week, it is the highlight of my week. At least when I walk in there, I am genuinally welcome, not for what is wanted off me, but because they truly welcome me, its great. Come on now, get cracking, never let the blighters get you down is my motto, and if your girl can afford drugs, and the old man can afford booze, then they dont need you, they have chosen what they want to do! Best of luck, keep smiling xx

  • Anna
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Ignore "Nor"... whilst sometimes drug addiction can be the result of poor parenting, that is often not the case. My brother was a drug addict, then a drug dealer and is now in prison; whereas my other brother is a high flyer in london and I am educated to BA level, polite and clean living, although I do suffer from depression. Three kids, all raised the same by sunday school teacher parents, 3 different outcomes. I can't fault my parents in their upbringing of us.

    I am too young to answer your other problems as you wanted older people for that, but I wanted to offer you some level of comfort that your daughters addiction is not your fault if you have loved her and raised her to the best of your ability. You sound like you love her deeply despite all she has done.

    As a fellow depression sufferer, I can't leave without begging you to pay your GP a visit. He won't solve everything, but a few referalls and some practical help makes all the difference. Even if its just the difference between wanting to die and hating life but tolerating it.

    I also recommend you talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau regarding your financial situation. Its obvious that money is one burden that you cannot shoulder right now. They can help... they can contact anyone you owe money to, help you do a REALISTIC budget and look at if there are any other benefits that you are entitiled to. You are the main carer to several people including yourself by the sounds of it. Please look into this. Money worries have an awful effect on mental health.

    In the meantime, until you can seek better advice than anyone on here can give you, consider phoning or emailing the Samaritans to have a real person listen to and respond to your feelings. Try and eat a little, but most importantly visit your doctor. Please.

    People often think that people over the age of 50 are immune to depression, but that is not the case. Its a taboo that needs to be broken. Depression at any age is serious and needs to be treated. Please don't ignore it! If you are already in the Mental Health system, contact your CPN and ask for the crisis team. They can help you here and now x

  • Andy
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    i suppose me being 24 i'm too young to answer you according to your logic, seems a little unfair though because i imagine that anyone can learn something from pretty much anyone else. as in: you can learn something even if it's small from anyone...but i suppose you would see that as me being young and not understanding anything, and okay if that's how you want to call it that's on you. i'll respond anyway.

    i'm not going to say your pain is invalid, or things could be worse everyone has their own threshold for what they can tolerate and i get that. it's obvious that you're under a lot of stress and surrounded by a lot of stressful people. i'm not going to say that it'll get better or anything like that either, it'll get different i'm sure because nothing stays completely the same, but that doesn't necessarily mean better.

    what i am going to say is the fact that you wrote this means that you want a change, that you want to be happy. you're not coming on here to have someone tell you to kill yourself to make it okay because that's a decision you could make without anyone here to back it up, it's your life to do with what you wish. it seems like you want to find something meaningful but feel like all opportunities have passed and that you'll never enjoy anything again.

    maybe i'm wrong, maybe it's just that i'm too young to understand you but i imagine that as long as you're still alive and able-minded/bodied there is something you can do to try to find self-fulfillment. even if it seems insignificant, maybe when you were younger you always wanted to play an instrument, paint, write a book, etc. etc. those things can be very fulfilling escapes, will they get rid of every problem you have? of course not, but they might bring a little positivity into your life. the way i see it the only reason to kill yourself is because there is truly nothing, not even something small that makes you feel something positive. because if there isn't even that i can understand why you would feel the way you say you do, but if there are things that make you happy, if there are things that you want to do then i think there's still plenty of reasons for you to be alive.

    negativity can be completely overwhelming, but you don't have to let it consume you.

    it might seem odd to you that i'm saying this, but if you click on my profile you can message me if you need to vent or something i'll give you my e-mail or whatever. it might not do you any good, and i can't see you being very interested, but i offer that to a lot of people here so i don't see why i should treat you any different even if it's obvious that you probably have no respect for me cuz of my age.

    Source(s): i'm a possibly naive 24 year old who thinks he might be able to say a worthwhile thing or two every once in a while.
  • 9 years ago

    Suicide is the cowards way out.

    Are you telling me you have nothing to offer anyone in life?

    Nothing in this world makes you happy?

    If you were serious why would you post this here instead of searching for real help?

    How long were you married to your husband? How long were the signs there that he was abusive? Why did you have children with him in spite of that? Why didn't you just leave him for somebody who would take care of you and your children? Children don't just "become" drug addicts, parents, you know, being decent parents should have been able to prevent that from happening. Seems like you ****** up somewhere and its had a chain reaction into your later life.

    It seems like you made your bed and now you are unhappy about sleeping in it.

    Get some professional help. Seriously, this place will not have the answers you need.

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  • 9 years ago

    Haven't you heard..that things change in life? Give your daughter and grandkids some time to maybe change there attitudes. I don't think they would be any where without you, since you seem like the sole provider for everyone. Hopefully they'll realize there mistakes and change. Takes time though.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I am answering this questions not telling you to go though with it or not. I want to make that clear now. I refuse to tell you if you should take your own life or not. I just want that very clear. I am not influencing your decision.

    But people may not answer this question because if they say something that can be considered assistance they could be arrested.

    Source(s): Life is a gift and for all you know things may change tomorrow. Remember that.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Hello!

    I do not know what I say can powerful enough to change your mind, since you are right, I am too young to provide advise to you,especially to life.

    But I just know,do not give up your life easily,no matter young,or not young.

    How do you know nothing good will come into your life after the difficulties?

    Good luck!

  • Sarah
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    the intensity of dreams can be scary sometimes. you really could swear it was real when it's not. sounds as though you have such vivid dreams you might want to write them down. you might see a pattern. you might use them later-on for something else. writing down the dreams will surely help you get a handle on them end of the day --- you're creative thinker. have fun with it.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    wow :(

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