Gay but falling for my friend...she's a girl?

I'm 19 male.. Lately I have developed feelings for my best friend. I am straight-looking, acting, hate shopping, love to surf, dirtbike, snowboard, HATE clubbing, into cars, baby my BMW like there's no tomorrow, I just kind of think I am more like a guy than my gay brother who is into a lot of stereotypical... show more I'm 19 male.. Lately I have developed feelings for my best friend. I am straight-looking, acting, hate shopping, love to surf, dirtbike, snowboard, HATE clubbing, into cars, baby my BMW like there's no tomorrow, I just kind of think I am more like a guy than my gay brother who is into a lot of stereotypical gay things.

anyways, I am falling for my best friend (I think). she's 19, dropdead gorgeous blonde girl, tiny framed, in a sorority. we went to see a movie the other night and I reached my hand over and held hers, put my other hand on her leg and massaged her. Yeah i was like "whoa, this feels really good....it feels right" we had dinner afterwards and it was an awesome time, just the two of us. guess you could characterize it as a date haha...I have had dirty thoughts about doing it with her, but I don't know if ill be turned on if we kiss. there was this one time in HS i was 17 and she was 16 when we were in my jacuzzi at home and i was giving her a back massage, i was soooo hard i had to hide it haha. I just want to cuddle her up and hold her and watch movies with her, I really think i am falling for this girl. I could easily perform oral on her too (that s a turn on to me with this girl).

so yeah....GAY DUDES, have you had a similar experience? or am I not as gay as I thought i was.

I mean put it this way, if we were cuddling with eachother watching a movie, i'd be hard if we were holding hands, guaranteed. I definitely wouldn't mind going past that point and maybe having her be my first... I've never liked a guy yet either
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