1) Your labia is normal. Every labia is different. Labia minora that hang past the labia majora are normal. In fact, they are common. Don't let porn confuse you. They come in a variety of colors - pink, purple, red, deep red, brown. They come in a variety of textures - bumpys, slightly lumpy, smooth, etc. They come in a variety of length - short, long, and everything in between.
2) For the love of it, do NOT get surgery. This is a natural and normal part of your body. Getting them reduced poses serious issues. Just a few of the potential issues: 1) Most men actually prefer large labia or don't care at all. 2) It can reduce or eliminate your pleasure during sex and masturbation. 3) The procedure can leave you looking bad down there and unnatural.
3) Masturbating or having sex does NOT change your labia. Your labia will not get stretched.
4) How to fix your confidence? Learn to love them. They are beautiful because they are a part of your body.
(I know this is 5 years old, I just hope it helps someone else reading.)