My parents wont let me date.. HELP!!!!?

ok so here's the deal. im 14 years old and i have NEVER dated anyone ...or talked to a boy by my self..parents are always there

so i have tried everything talked to them when they were in a good mood, express how mature i am and how i am christian and i would NEVER fool around ... NEVER

the thing is they let my 11 year old brother date( they don't belive it's dating because he's little they think its only puppy love ) and it really gets me down, you know like they're treating him better...

i know this sound realy dumb but i want to date because my cousin Andrea showed me this site of teens sharing there first kisses and it got me more hung up on the whole idea of dating and having my first kiss, i also want to know how it feel... like how it feels to loved by some else but your family and how it feels to be hugged or kissed by some one else buy family...

i know its a silly idea but i really need someone who will help me and listen to what i say....

15 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    You are really young still, to be honest. A lot of parents have a rule set that at 16, or 17, the child can begin to date.

    And yes, your little brother is NOT dating girls. He's eleven. He wouldn't know what he was doing. He just has little friends, and I can see why you get irritated with that, but honestly, he's a child, and you're a teenager and there is a huge difference between the two of you.

    Also, your reasoning is kind of silly. If you actually liked a specific guy and you both wanted to date each other, well, I could see where you were coming from. But you just want to date because you are desperate for a kiss? Come on, you aren't mature enough to be dating just yet if that's your main reasoning for doing so. If you start dating under the influence of that desperation, then you're just going to end up kissing any random guy, or someone that you don't really know if you like. You don't have big girl reasons to be dating right now, so it's hard to take your side on this one.

    I was 18 when I started dating (I was allowed to before that, but I didn't have the desire to do so), and I think that worked out perfectly for me. I was old enough to make my own decisions, and mistakes, and be able to overcome them. I am not saying that you should wait that long, but at least wait until your reasoning for dating isn't "OMG I wanna first kiss! It's soooo romantic! SQUEEE!"

    I think that you should honestly have realistic expectations of dating, and not be under the impression that your first kiss is going to be some magical thing, or that your first boyfriend will be something from a fairy tale. You have to be mature enough to realize that a real relationship isn't anything like what you are hoping it will be.

  • 9 years ago

    You aren't missing out on anything. I know it's hard to believe, but it's so much better to wait until you are older. Just enjoy the age that you are at and be secure in knowing that when you are older and probably out of high school and in college there will be plenty of time for relationships. I think it even seems from the guy's perspective also--to feel that they are with someone who hasn't been all used up and is completely innocent. Young girls who are running around with guys at an early age trying to grow up too soon always seem a little "slutty" to me regardless of whether they are Christian or not. If you wait for someone really special to come along when you are older and more emotionally mature (just a couple of years from now) it will be a much more fulfilling experience. Trust your parents on this one. I had a boyfriend at 14 and I really wish I would have waited.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I understand you completely! But my mother doesn't mind me dating as long as I tell her and she will smooth her way into telling my dad. But even with that, I've still never dated. It just doesn't feel right yet to me and when I am ready it will. Don't try and rush to have your first kiss if you aren't ready. If you hold on until you're ready, it will make your first kiss so much better. I want see how it feels to be loved by someone else too but my parents raised to always have respect for myself and be treated with respect so I will know when a guy truly loves me. Your dad doesn't want you to date because you're his little girl and he doesn't like seeing you grow up so fast. If you are truly ready for a relationship, talk to your mother and I'm sure that she will see the seriousness in your eyes and let you date. Once she does that, she can convince your father to let you date too.(:

  • 9 years ago

    I can understand your frustration but the best thing you can do is talk to them. It can be a little awkward but if you just remain calm and make it not a big deal... They won't make it a big deal either. Just say something like "mom and dad, I respect ur rules because I know you care about me and want what's best but I'm older now and I kind of want to maybe start dating. You know me well enough that u know I would never even consider fooling around. I just want someone to be with" let them know ur still their little girl but they should consider changing the rules. GOOD LUCK!!

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    It sounds to me you need to have a sit down with mom and dad and start asking questions.I have kids my self I'm very strict with mine but honest as well.My oldest is 12 and she dated a guy for 3 yrs and this yr they broke it off.Kids lie they all lie and as a parent its hard to see there little girl date guys..If your family is Christians your parents have strict ways for dating usually the son will date before you will its just there ways in following god and if your smart dating isn't everything your young and anxious have fun while your young the more grown up you are and your parents see it the faster you'll be dating...

  • 9 years ago

    Don't disobey. It won't be any fun to sneak around. My parent wouldn't let me date until I was 16, but didn't listen. I got my first boyfriend when I was in 8th grade, and it wasn't that great. I should have realized that there was a reason that they didn't want me to date (I definately wasn't ready) It may feel like you are, but trust that your parents want what's best for you although perhaps not always apparent. Just wait! Guys will come and go, but keep your innocence as long as you can.

    And don't force it! Let your first kiss/boyfriend be natural!

  • 9 years ago

    I had that same problem. I couldn't get them to change there mind for anything. Finally after tons and tons of convincing and proving I was mature my parents said once I was in high school I could start dating. My three years younger brother had girlfriends all the meanwhile. Still high school was forever away so I asked them if I brought the guy over and they met him and saw what a nice guy he was if I could date him. They agreed. So see if you can find a guy your interested in. Then convince your parents to meet him. Then hope from there that it works out.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Daym that really sucks.. I understand your parents in a way because they are protecting you in a way..

    But at the same time they need to give you your space and let you experience things..

    I don't see why they won't let you date.. I mean your 14 that should be old enough..

    That's just stupid.. But they are your parents..

    Source(s): Alex is wassup!
  • 9 years ago

    i know what u mean!! its just that feeling of being hugged by a guy! that safe feeling!

    well consider urself lucky bcuz i cant even leave my house! but what works for some is just get a bf! and bring him 2 ur house! or say mom and dad can___ come over? if u dont like him i wont see him again((thats onli if they dont hav a good reason 4 likin himm))

    Can u answer mine?

  • ?
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    My parents are the exact same way, and i have a younger brother like that too.. it totally suckss

    so far, what I'm doing is going out in group things, and my parents are fine with that.

    sooo i'd suggest you do that

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