Who will give me a credit card based on my salary (as opposed to my non-existent credit score)?

So lately, I've been itching for a new laptop. I went to Best Buy last weekend, and decided to pick one up. It was $1,600. I had $1,200 in my checking account. I decided that instead of waiting for my next paycheck, I'd try one of their financing options. I figured it would be a breeze and I'd be at... show more So lately, I've been itching for a new laptop. I went to Best Buy last weekend, and decided to pick one up. It was $1,600. I had $1,200 in my checking account. I decided that instead of waiting for my next paycheck, I'd try one of their financing options. I figured it would be a breeze and I'd be at home firing up my new laptop in no time!

An employee was sitting behind relaying credit card application questions interrogated me for a good half an hour. After he began, I started getting nervous. Then, he asked me my annual salary. "fifty-seven thousand," I said. He raised his eyebrows and pushed his bottom lip up as if to say "not bad." I felt a rush and started getting excited at the thought of racing home and firing up a fresh machine with specs twice as good as the specs of the laptop I had. "It'll be just a sec!" he said. I turned to my girlfriend and we smiled at eachother. She new I had been wanting a new laptop to do my work on. Two minutes later, the store clerk looked at me and said, "I'm sorry sir. It didn't go through." My heart dropped. "What the hell!!! He made that face at me though!" I thought to myself.

We left the store.

We came back 5 min later. He never handed me back my driver's license.

The next day, we went to our bank.
"I wanna get a credit card."
"You mean you would like to apply for a credit card?"
--- No... I want to GET a credit card, but if you can't give me one, sure I'll apply for one you condescending uppity ****
"Yeah... that..."

I went through the interrogation again... this time with a well-groomed slick-haired guido lookin-guy who kept checking out my gf. At the end of it, he simply said, "They'll mail you something."

I thought, "They'll mail me.... a card?"

Today, I got home and checked my mail. One article of mail... ... from the bank!!!
I got excited. I pulled the envelope out of the box but, in my excitement, didn't notice how light it was. I started to open the envelope, and grew suspicious of it's lack of rigidity.

There was a single piece of paper in it. There was test on that paper that stood out in all caps.

"LIMITED ACTIVE ACCOUNTS OR DEBTS REPORTED"

I now sit here, typing this in extreme frustration. Even my bank -the institution that should know best that I pay all my bills on time- has denied me a credit card.

What the heck does a guy have to do to get a credit card/build credit? I'd like to take out a mortgage and buy a home in the near future.
(note: I cannot have a joint card with my parents. Let's just not go into detail as to why that's not an option please)
Update: EDIT: I guess I should have mentioned that I've already gotten copies of my credit report from the 3 credit reporting agencies. :P All clear. My bank also does monthly monitoring and every month I get a text alert that says the same thing every month (that there's nothing negative and no new accounts opened or... show more EDIT: I guess I should have mentioned that I've already gotten copies of my credit report from the 3 credit reporting agencies. :P All clear. My bank also does monthly monitoring and every month I get a text alert that says the same thing every month (that there's nothing negative and no new accounts opened or something like that).
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