The way the deductible works, when you are at fault for the accident, is that the deductible amount is SUBTRACTED from the damages check. So if you don't repair your car, you don't HAVE to pay that deductible out. Or maybe you only partially repair your damages.
Regarding the deductible being waived, it's EXTREMELY state specific.
For the most part, it NEVER gets waived, if YOU are at fault. If you are NOT at fault and the other person's insurance pays your damages, you don't HAVE a deductible.
In some states, there's a "deductible waiver" you can buy, when you first buy your policy, where you don't have to pay the deductible under certain circumstances - like when you're hit by someone with the same insurance company, OR your car is a total loss, OR you're hit by an uninsured motorist. If you didn't buy the waiver, and it's not written into your policy, OR it's not available in your state, you're not going to get the deductible waived.
The person you should really ask, is your insurance agent, if you have one. THEY will be able to give you state specific information on waivers of deductible - like if it's available, and if so, under what circumstances it could possibly apply.
But it's not something you can negotiate AFTER the claim.