Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

Messing around with a different idea, care to comment?

What takes the sunlight from your day when skies should be blue?

What makes you stay in that dim room? You have the pall of marbled tombs

and the aura of a terminally ill princess, with no tears to spill.

What paints gray into your eyes once such vibrant blue?

What sorrow lingers like a ghost when laughing faces dare too close?

You once wre light and lyrical, but now the tune is still.

What spectre haunts your memory, makes you pensive and subdued?

What dread presence visits you and takes all beauty from your view?

You wear the tiara of a litle girl's ghost that haunts you still.

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think the saddest thing about this write is that, the writer knows the answer, yet no amount of articulate questioning can seem to coax it out of the one who needs it most...hmmmm. Sweetly sad, darlin'!

    Source(s): As for Edit: S2/L3 were & S3/L3 little...of course! ;-)
  • 9 years ago

    The haunting is not a different idea but will seem so

    because the years have taught you

    and now you know and realize

    that the pall and dimness,

    the gray and sorrow,

    the spectre and the tune,

    and the dread presence

    is not of

    a little girl's ghost

    but it is of

    you...

    you haunt you.

  • 9 years ago

    What takes the cheers away and fill in the blues?

    What mood makes a day misty when silence rules?

    What changes the mood that makes you pensive and subdued?

  • 9 years ago

    I like it but think maybe in a morbid way. I'm tryin to decide if this person is male, like a girls father? It is though as if the person is asking questions to someone not there or unable to answer. Good write sis, and worth the read.

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  • 9 years ago

    The past cannot hurt you the future will

    if you will it to do so ,But it is possible to rewrite the way you perceive it and handle it from now onward. If you don't, your hurt self will carry over this emotional pain into all new experiences and relationships, possibly poisoning them and dooming them to failure without any conscious desire on your behalf.

  • 9 years ago

    I like this. It even LOOKS calming and concerned. And its questions... make me think. A fiction-writing course should be challenged to write short stories about the person in this poem; I bet they'd have incredibly interesting diverse stories.

  • Nat
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    This one feels more personal, closer to the heart.

    Written with a depth of feeling.

    It brings back personal losses suffered by this responder,

    so many in so short a period.

  • jenny
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Very nice pen, sad but for some a reality, "All the lonely people."

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    this was pretty, but,

    I know what the last line is about......

    and that makes me sad

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