just been informed early today by my wife of 37 years she wants a divorce.?

most of the problems in our relationship are down to me but no matter how hard I try I always go back to my old ways.Feel absolutley gutted but should I let her go without a fight. I know she deserves better

24 Answers

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  • 9 years ago

    If you have tried to fix your problems in the past with no lasting effect then that's probably a sign that things are not going to improve! You could try suggesting marriage counselling as a last attempt at saving your relationship if you have not already been down that road... She obviously needs some space and you could suggest a temporary split for say 3 months, this will give you both time to think about your feelings and future as a couple, if after this time she still wants to split rather than work on things the best thing to do is to let her go... its best to end on reasonable terms, than end a 37 year marriage with angry and bitter feelings.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Sorry to hear this, it's not an easy thing

    Some people can't make a marriage last a day it seems so 37 years is something to be definitely proud of

    But if you say she deserves better then it sounds like you've already given up on taking this relationship further

    And if you don't think you can change your ways then I guess it's time to let her go

    We aren't necessarily meant to spent all of our life with one person, so if you do go your separate ways then hopefully it won't be long before the two of you find your next partner

    Good luck to you both

  • 8
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    "no matter how hard I try I always go back to my old ways." Not to be a smart @ss, but obviously you didn't try hard enough or you would have succeeded.

    After 37 years, I doubt you have much choice except to let her go. Sounds like she's heard one broken promise too many.

    What boggles my mind is the fact that you know she deserves better and that usually means someone loves someone a lot or is at least a sign of unselfish love.

  • 9 years ago

    First, as the song says, "what kind of gone are we talking about here?" Sometimes people say they want a divorce as a way to get their spouse's attention. It's like a wake up call, and if you meet a certain criteria, she'll reconsider. On the other hand, when some say it, it's because they feel everything's been tried and this is final. Find out which this is for her. Based on that information, you'll have to decide what you can and want to do. Best of luck to you either way.

    Source(s): Married 28 years.
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  • 9 years ago

    It's great that you acknowledge your weakness. I think that the best way to proceed with your divorce is to learn the correct steps in conducting it correctly. I'm not sure what you want to achieve in posting here but I hope the article "How to Get a Divorce – The Essential Guide to Divorce", which details the necessary steps and processes on how to file your divorce properly, will help you achieve the wishes of your wife and put your relationship to rest.

    http://www.divorceguide.com/

    Also, read the article "How to Cope with your Life after Divorce" which would also help you to deal with the difficulties of life after your marriage. Hope everything works out well for you.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Whoa, well, if I didn't know any better I would swear you were my Father. He also openly admits he didn't do his best and he caused most issues with a lack of respect etc.

    On their 30th wedding anniversary he asked her what she wanted and she replied "A divorce".

    She had simply had enough.

    Sorry to say, in their case there was no going back, no fixing things. They have both moved on and my Dad has remarried and seems happy and seems to treat her well....Of course, I wouldn't know exactly, apparently one doesn't keep in contact with the older children once you have new shiney ones. So, take this lesson and learn to do better.

    I'm sorry for your pain. Truly, I am. It's good to be self aware so you can learn.

  • 9 years ago

    If you still love her & sincerely with all your heart want to make it work, then I say go for it.

    Maybe this divorce request will be a wake-up call for you that your wife means business?

    So you won't take it for granted & go back to your old ways yet again?

    But if you think it's impossible for you to change, then forget it. Let her go, since you agree she deserves better. Only you know yourself well enough.

  • 9 years ago

    If there is still the slightest glimmer of love there, you fight for what you feel is right. After 37 years she wants something more in her life and you readily admit your old ways are not right, so........ if you lose her it's down to you, but don't give up unless you really don't love her.

  • 9 years ago

    Sorry to hear your news. It sounds like you expected it but that doesn't make it easier.

    Let her go and be kind and generous to her. She gave you 37 years of her life after all.

  • K8
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    I can only go by what you say and since you say you know she deserves better and you can't change whatever it is that is the problem - yes, let her go. Thirty seven years is a long time to be miserable.

    Source(s): married 23 years
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