Destructive Mother Son Relationship?

My boyfriend is a person with a very passive attitude, he'd rather agree than argue. And after meeting his family I began to understand why. His mother is the type of person who is very self-centered. Its her way or she's going to put up a fight until she gets what she wants. She uses and manipulates, him,... show more My boyfriend is a person with a very passive attitude, he'd rather agree than argue. And after meeting his family I began to understand why. His mother is the type of person who is very self-centered. Its her way or she's going to put up a fight until she gets what she wants. She uses and manipulates, him, belittles him, and bad mouths him, and yet regardless he is always passive about this and continues to interact with her. She has spoken ill of me in the past, but I charge it to her ignorance, because she barely knows me and only feels threatened by my presence. My boyfriend gets upset with her but then succumbs to her within hours as if he feels obliged to her regardless of her actions. She will say things like 'You put someone else over your mother, I would never put anyone over my mother, no one can ever be your mother", tells the family, friends, and church members the things he says and does and has even built a facebook page along with other family just to keep tabs on him and the things he says. I have never told him to not communicate with his mother but I am wanting him to understand that his mothers behavior towards him is not ok. Yes she should treat me better as we are planning on marrying soon, but her son is more important-she raised him yet she treats him as if he owes her his life and its not right. If he goes against her she takes things from him, threatens him, calls the police, tells him that he's not her child and that she never wants to see him again then comes back as if it never happens never apologizes to him and then when she gets mad does it all over again. She speaks ill of our relationship, knowing that all he wants is a true relationship and that her words will stick in his mind. She tells him he'll never make it without her and things of that nature to the point that he has began to worry that he won't. Yet he is still unable to realize that this is not a healthy mother son relationship. I have spoken to him and continue to because I don't want him to treat me or our kids like this in the future. What are some measures that can be taken? Am I correct about this being a destructive relationship? Is there any hope that he will realize and if so what ways will help him realize?
Update: Im passive as well I dont let things bother me and I refuse to argue. I'm just a different level than him. My intention is not to control, he is ina situation where he has daily interaction with his mother because she lives with him. He has asked her to leave-she won't. He has asked her to respect him-she laughs. I... show more Im passive as well I dont let things bother me and I refuse to argue. I'm just a different level than him. My intention is not to control, he is ina situation where he has daily interaction with his mother because she lives with him. He has asked her to leave-she won't. He has asked her to respect him-she laughs. I have supported him and his decisions as well as my family has, but even though he knows her behavior is out of order he continues to succumb to her. I do not need to control her, I see she has no control over herself because she cannot understand maturity is knowing when it is not ok to act immature and she does not.
Update 2: He's 25 Im 23, we live together he bought a house I had an apartment, i moved in with him.
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