Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 9 years ago

What does your SO do when they get home from work?

My husband gets home from work at 4pm. Many days he gets home later because he's gone by Home Depot/Lowes/Walmart to get something for his "project". He ALWAYS has a house project going on. And it's always a project that HAS TO BE DONE. He makes it seem like it's life threatening safety issue has to get done right now. It's NOOOOOOOTTTTT! Like this weekend. He HAD to put down new flooring in the laundry room. The kids wanted to play with him so badly, but all his focus was on the flooring. I wasn't feeling good either (8 1/2 months prego). I was really hoping he would just sit and spend some time with them. When he started complaining about the project and how he "never has enough time, there's always so much to do" it just irritated me. None of his "projects" HAVE to be done. They are just things he WANTS to get done. There's a big difference. Yes, if there was a gaping hole in the floor that was a safety issue for the kids to fall into, sure the floor needs to be addressed. He just didn't like the linoleum that the previous owner installed. I told him that he's the one that puts pressure on himself to get these things done, not me, and that none of them are urgent. He chooses to do them instead of sit down and relax. He got upset and said no, they have to be done. So, we are back to the woman vs man priority debate.

I'm just curious as to what other husbands are like? He does NOT sit down when he comes home except to eat dinner. He doesn't sit and play with the kids unless he HAS to. He's always doing something. We don't have a game system, nor does he watch very much tv. While I greatly admire his sense of drive, I also wish he'd SIT down with us. Play a game, watch a movie, play with the kids with me.

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Greets me and the little one, then he goes and sits on the couch and watches the 6pm news, lol. It's fine by me because our kitchen is open to the living room, and our son plays contently in the living room with my husband. Then we eat dinner and do whatever after. Oh and maybe he's a dork for being the only 29 year old who reads the newspaper after work too, but hey that's fine :)

  • 9 years ago

    HA I bet my wife wishes I was more like that. I am NOT handy at all. Part of the reason I went to college because I could never make a living doing manual stuff at all. My dad, amongst other things he did, was an electrician and a general jack of all trades. He built shelves, and other things. Me no can do. If we needed a new floor I would have to pay someone to do it.

    Ok that aside on to your question. It depends on the day what I do. I like to and I am a pretty good cook. So even though my wife is a SAHM I still do the majority of the cooking. She is a great cook but hates do it so it works out for us. When I leave today in a few minutes I will go home and prepare dinner. Then we will eat and I will play with the kids. My daughter has some board games and we play one on the nights I am home. I help with baths and getting them to bed. Then I lay on my big rump on my ipod touch and go on Facebook, Chatzy, check email etc.

    PS

    I had to change a light switch and it two trips to home depot( I broke the first one and got shocked) several hours and curse words later. I am such a white collar guy not blue collar at all. I can change a flat and check my oil but that is all I can do with a car. Don't even get me started on my lack or plumbing skills

  • 9 years ago

    My husband works 2nd shift 5 nights per week. On the nights he works 2nd shift he doesn't get home until around 11:30PM. He will take a shower catch a little TV and then go to bed. On the two nights that he is working his 2nd job he gets home between 5 and 6. He usually eats then gets a shower and he will do bills or watch TV or help with whatever needs to be done. He's really good about spending time with our kids, he will usually help our youngest with homework to give me a break from having to do that. We usually sit and watch the news together or play a game. Our kids are older though so they don't need a lot of attention, they are teens and a preteen.

  • 9 years ago

    My husband is done for the day around 5:30pm - 6pm. Dinner is ready when he comes in the door, so he eats first. After dinner the kids are begging him to do something with them so he heads off to some part of the house to play. By the time he is finished his rounds with all the kids, it's time for the little ones to go to bed. By that point I'm about finished with everything and we usually play a game on one of the game consoles, watch something on the PVR or watch a movie. He usually saves his "man projects" for a particular day on the weekend. If it's something around the house we have friends/family that help to make sure it gets done right away. There is no way on this earth my husband could turn away one of our kids wanting to play with him. He feels guilty if he doesn't spend enough time with them.

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  • 9 years ago

    When Andrew comes home.. the first thing he does is goes straight to Aubree. I am usually on the floor playing with her when he comes in from work since Im usually just getting home too! He sits down on the floor and plays with her.. and we talk about how our days were. Then he watches some tv and watches over her while I get dinner ready. We eat, he cleans up while I take Aubree straight to the bathroom since she's usually a mess.. then he takes a shower while I finish up with Aubree. Then we all spend time together until she goes to bed. Once I am ready to put her to sleep, he usually goes to our room to work on his CDC's (a big study guide type of book for his job at the Air Guard).

    He's not much of a home improvement project kind a guy.. but then again, we bought our home new and there isn't much that needs to be done! He does take some time in the evenings to do things outside like burn cardboard (he doesn't like to put it with the trash pick up) and play with his pup.. but most of the time he spends it with us! (: So thankful for that.

  • 9 years ago

    Unless you want to be a single mom de facto, I'd suggest addressing what seems to be the core issue, which is that he is not acting like he is part of the family, much less a husband/father. He may be stressed and using the project to blow off steam, but it also seems like he is using projects as an excuse to distance himself. You are home with the kids all day, he is not, he needs to come home and help out. It's not the 1950's anymore. Just out of curiousity, did he behave this way at all before you had kids?

    Source(s): common sense
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Was he like this before you got pregnant? Maybe this is his "nesting phase". You should sit down and talk with him. Be patient and tell him you just want to understand because it's making you feel lonely, unwanted, and like it's more pressure on you to do the day-to-day things. Tell him the kids want their daddy time and they deserve it more than the floor does :P Maybe you can compromise and tell him if he'll sit and play with the kids when he gets home from work, while you make dinner, you'll make sure they don't pester him while he works on his project for a couple hours afterwards. It's not like he's working until 7 or 8 at night like many of us. He's got time.

  • Froggy
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    I understand what you are saying. It would be difficult to have a husband who is ALWAYS working. It's great that he's not a lazy bum and has ambition, but I would be a little frustrated, too. My husband is the exact opposite, he comes home from work and plops down on the couch and plays video games or puts in a movie. He doesn't change diapers unless I tell him to, hold our infant unless I hand him to him, he plays with our oldest as long as he can sit on the couch while doing so. I can understand that he's been on his feet all day, and I don't get on his case about it, but it does make me pull my hair out from time to time that he can't take the initiative to do it himself. Words can't tell you how badly I want to smash that PS3 of his, but I feel he deserves it at the same time. I can't say that I'd like my husband to have the same drive as yours, but I do wish he would do something other than play video games. He's 27! I find it very childish to still be playing video games, but that's just me. I don't like them at all lol.

  • Well, he gets off work about 1 1/2 before i do, so he will come home and make dinner. It is ready by the time i get home. I pick our son up from daycare 3 days a week and he gets him 2 days a week. We then spend about an hour playing with our son together and then he will tinker around the house or in the garage and then goes to bed around 8-9ish.

    Source(s): Jenn
  • 9 years ago

    My husband walks in the door...says hi, complains about his job for a couple minutes, goes to the bathroom, goes into his office, closes the door, sits in his chair and stays there playing on his computer until he goes to bed...doesn't even come out for dinner...has to be taken to him in there. It hasn't always that bad (but close), it's been this bad for close to a year now. Wish my husband would get up and do a few things around the house...however, either way, neither your husband or mine is spending any family time or time with the kids and that's wrong. Try not coming at him accusatory and just try to explain that although the things he is doing is important, they can wait...the children will not wait..t.hey are growing up before your very eyes and he is going to regret not spending the time with them (and you are about to have another one).

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