How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm dying?

My name is Sonny and I am 18. I know that it's a little silly that i'm using yahoo answers for something like this, but really, it's all i can do. A couple months ago, I was diagnosed with pancreas cancer. The doctors said that they couldn't do surgery on me, for a few reasons. They wanted me to... show more My name is Sonny and I am 18. I know that it's a little silly that i'm using yahoo answers for something like this, but really, it's all i can do. A couple months ago, I was diagnosed with pancreas cancer. The doctors said that they couldn't do surgery on me, for a few reasons. They wanted me to chemo, but I denied as it's very, very painful and there is little to no chance that it will work, and I don't want to spend the little time I have left throwing up all day, bald.
So I was given 8-12 months to live. It has already been almost three months, and I still haven't told my boyfriend. It kills me to lie to him, to pretend i'm not in pain when i am.
But I don't know what to do. If I tell him, the little time I have left will be full of him being depressed about losing me. We have been together for almost 2 years, and we had an entire future planned. Telling him we can't have that will be worse than dying itself.
But If I don't tell him, I'm living a lie, and when my time does come, he will probably never, ever forgive me.
Please help me. I'm so confused. ;(
Also, if any of you know what happens when you die, please tell. Or just make something wonderful up. I'd really like to feel better about it then I do know.
Thanks heaps. x - Sonny
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