How can I help a friend live a better life?
My friend and I have both known each other since we were in kindergarten, and at 17 years, he's like a brother to me. The way he's living right now isn't healthy. Let me explain. We grew up together but he moved to Brooklyn a year ago. We are still in very close contact. His dad is involved with drug cartels and the mafia (I know this for a fact, I won't bother explaining why) and he wants my friend to follow in his footsteps.
He acts totally different around me; sweet and caring. But with other people, he's polite, until he doesn't get his way, and he if he doesn't gets what he wants, he'll threaten them with guns, knives, or get a bunch of people to beat up whoever he doesn't like. For example, when we were at the movies, as we were walking down the hall to enter the movie, there were a group of guys and one of them decided to smack my butt. My friend went straight up to him and told him to apologize to me right away. When they guy told him to **** off, my friend flashed the gun on his hip and the guy immediately apologized.
My friend told me he doesn't want to follow in his dads footsteps. He always wanted to get into something encircling fitness or law. The problem is his dad is drilling nonsense into his head and the fact that he has so many enticing perks doesn't help either. He got to sleep with an exorbitant amount of girls from our school when he was here just because he's filthy rich and bought girls anything they wanted, (and he's very, very good looking so that didn't help ha ha) and has an intimidating reputation. I'm worried his dad is brainwashing him to do what he doesn't want to do, and he may get so used to his lavish and comfortable lifestyle that he may disacknowledge the fact that he is living a very dangerous lifestyle. I REALLY want to help him before he may change his mind about wanting to modify his own lifestyle. What can I do, what can I say, how can I support him?
- Anonymous9 years agoFavorite Answer
As a Psychologist I must warn you that cannot change someone who is influenced or thinks they are "connected" in some way, shape or form to power. This person has to make their own decision as to what path they choose to go in life. Trust me that this person knows fright from wrong and is simply going to have to make a decision based on what they want their life to be. It sounds like you've been a good friend and are a decent person so you have already done all you can. Continue to be a good friend but remember that you cannot "force" anyone down any path in life. If you want to talk to this person honestly about their "other" life then it's your choice but remember that everything comes with a price. I would suggest you continue to be a good friend and let them make their own path. I wish you the best.
Peace, Love & Happiness