皮皮 asked in 教育與參考出國留學 · 10 years ago

可以幫我看一下英文自傳嗎

Autobiography I come from Tai-Chung Country where I spent my colorful childhood with my family. I was born a sweet and common family with five members in it. They are Father, Mother, an elder sister, and a younger brother. I am the second of the three children. My father is a businessman who works very hard to support such a big family. My mother is a tailor concurrently housewife. And my elder sister is a college student. We have a close relationship and help with each other. My parents make great effort to raise us up and give us a lot of support, providing us with everything we need, love and education including. Although we don’t lead a wealthy life, we feel easy about it. In my school days in Shui-Li Senior Vicational High School were very memorable which marked a turning point in my life. During the most gorgeous three years, I am not only expanded my knowledge, but also improved my attitude toward life. In my school time, I learned a lot of specialized subjects, such as accounting and economicsand computer introduction and network principle. Also, I learned some things that I could never learn from textbooks. For example, I learned how to get along with other people, and knew how to arrange my time to study well. In other words, I have the most valuable time of my life in Shui-Li senior high school. Not only I can gain experiences and knowledge but also I acquire different skills. Three years in the senior high school was the most worthwhile and happiest time in my school life. In the future, I will put emphasis on improving my English ability and learning more knowledge about computer in the university. In order to acquire more specialized skills and to be more competitive in the job market, I will try my best to study hard and broad my views, so I can have more abilities to achieve my goal step by step.

麻煩幫我看一下,我的文法有沒有錯

感謝你 = )

Update:

可以麻煩幫我修改嗎?我不太會寫...>

Update 2:

抱歉我打錯了是Taichung才對

4 Answers

Rating
  • 10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I come from Tai-Chung County, where I spent my colorful childhood with my family. I was born into a sweet and common family with five members: my mother and father, an elder sister, a younger brother. I am the second of the three children. My father is a businessman who works very hard to support such a big family. My mother is a tailor concurrently housewife, and my elder sister is a college student. We have close relationships and help with each other when needed. My parents love us and makes great effort to raise us up and give us a lot of support, providing us with everything we need, such as education. Although we don’t lead a wealthy life, we are satisfied. My school days in Shui-Li Senior Vocational High School were very memorable since they marked the turning point of my life. During the gorgeous three years, I not only expanded my knowledge, but also improved my attitude towards life. In my school time, I learned a lot of specialized subjects, such as accounting, economics, computer introduction, and network principle. Also, I learned some things that couldn't be learned from textbooks. For example, I learned how to get along with other people, as well as how to arrange my time to study well. In other words, I have the most valuable time of my life in Shui-Li senior high school. Not only did I gain experiences and knowledge but also acquire different skills. The three years in senior high school was the most worthwhile and happiest period of time of my school life. In the future, I will put emphasis on improving my English ability and learning more knowledge about computer in university. In order to acquire more specialized skills and to be more competitive in the job market, I will try my best to study hard and broaden my views, so that I can gradually obtain more abilities to achieve my goals.

    2011-01-31 20:05:08 補充:

    倒數第二段第一行最後面gain改成obtain

    第二行最後面was 改成were

  • to 老人

    I was born in "to"不用八0.0

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Tai-Chung Country

    這是哪裡?

    台灣嗎?

  • 10 years ago

    要加強倒裝句和連接詞的應用 避免整篇文章都是直述句

    Your Sincerely

    Michael Chen

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