How can I help a friend live a better life?
My friend and I have both known each other since we were in kindergarten, and at 17 years, he's like a brother to me. The way he's living right now isn't healthy. Let me explain. We grew up together but he moved to Brooklyn a year ago. We are still in very close contact. His dad is involved with drug cartels and the mafia (I know this for a fact, I won't bother explaining why) and he wants my friend to follow in his footsteps.
He acts totally different around me; sweet and caring. But with other people, he's polite, until he doesn't get his way, and he if he doesn't gets what he wants, he'll threaten them with guns, knives, or get a bunch of people to beat up whoever he doesn't like. For example, when we were at the movies, as we were walking down the hall to enter the movie, there were a group of guys and one of them decided to smack my butt. My friend went straight up to him and told him to apologize to me right away. When they guy told him to **** off, my friend flashed the gun on his hip and the guy immediately apologized.
My friend told me he doesn't want to follow in his dads footsteps. He always wanted to get into something encircling fitness or law. The problem is his dad is drilling nonsense into his head and the fact that he has so many enticing perks doesn't help either. He got to sleep with an exorbitant amount of girls from our school when he was here just because he's filthy rich and bought girls anything they wanted, (and he's very, very good looking so that didn't help ha ha) and has an intimidating reputation. I'm worried his dad is brainwashing him to do what he doesn't want to do, and he may get so used to his lavish and comfortable lifestyle that he may disacknowledge the fact that he is living a very dangerous lifestyle. I REALLY want to help him before he may change his mind about wanting to modify his own lifestyle. What can I do, what can I say, how can I support him?
- eldots53Lv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
I know you'd like to help - but all the choice and power to change is really in his hands, and any one individual's encouragement from the outside and from outside his family isn't going to carry much weight. And the part about going into law enforcement seems particularly awkward as a choice, given what his family does, and what he himself has even started to do. For instance, I doubt the gun he had was was legal, and the fact that he is using it to intimidate shows the way he really thinks. Just because he's nice with you doesn't change a thing.
You can't really influence changing his mind - and though I think he likes to talk about not wanting to follow in the family business, there is a LOT of influence that his family holds over him other than the lavish perks; he'd basically have to renounce his whole family, and that's a very tall order. You can tell him to listen to his better angels - but he is not just faced with a single decision. It will be dozens of decisions every day for a long time.
- 9 years ago
He probably acts like that because of his dad and how he was raised, but remind him that law-abiding citizens don't threaten people with guns. If you're worried he's going down the wrong path, tell him that you care about him, and don't want him to get hurt or go to prison. He may assure you that he's not going to follow in his dad's footsteps, but if he's not convinced, remind him how dangerous his dad's life is, and of all the reasons he didn't want to do it in the first place. In the end, it's his decision and his life, but I hope you can help him. He really does seem like a good guy. <3
- 9 years ago
I don't think that if you try to explain to him now, he would understand it. I guess maybe you should try to show him how dangerous that kind of life is through movies or anythin that you can think of. Other than that just try to show him how it would feel to lose the ones that are the most important to him.
- 9 years ago
He should move somewhere elseSource(s): Anal lee