What to do about neighbors who are complaining of us slamming the doors while we are not!?

We moved into this apartment complex in august of last year; month or two later our next door neighbors moved in. They are in their early 20-s. We are family of 3: myself, my husband and our 8 y.o. daughter. We are not party people, we are not loud, we very seldom have anybody over. My husband and I are both working, and our girl attends school. When they were moving in, the lady was pregnant, and they recently had a baby. About one and a half months ago, she knocked on our door and asked to try not to slam our door. We did not think we were slamming it, however, we were very understanding about them having a newborn and all the stress that comes along with it. Then, two weeks later, the lady came again, knocking angrily on our door. She stated that she wanted to talk to us before she would complaint to the office about us slamming the door. We tried to reason with her and explain that we do not slam the door, that it may be other neighbors, which by the way we hear as well. I need to mention also that the building was build in the 70-s, walls are in fact very thin, and every time someone opens/closes they doors we can hear it too, especially balcony ones. She left very angry. After that argument, in spite the fact that we were upset over being blamed for something we don’t do, we were extremely careful with our door; every time my 8 year old closes it slightly louder than I want her to, she gets jumped on by one of use. We basically tip toe out the door. It should not be like this on the first place, but it has been for the past two weeks or so. Last Saturday we left early morning to go shopping, after we came back, there was a not on our door, where we are basically called “bad and neighbors, who do not respect others especially with a newborn” and also it was stated that they are going to put a complaint on us every time we slam our door! And that when we were closing it so careful! What should we do? We can’t get in and out of the apartment through the window! These neighbors making our living situation very difficult. I did show her letter at the office. I am not sure what is going to happen if she continuously complains to them, and don’t know what else to do. Please advise.

6 Answers

  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Are you talking about the main door to your apartment? At hardware stores I have seen narrow strips of foam with adhesive backing. They come in coils, and are designed to stick around the door frame, both to keep air from leaking through, and to muffle the sound of the door closing.

    Try installing some of that – it's not very expensive. Show your neighbors that you've done so. Also mention that all of you were out of the apartment last Saturday morning, so if she was hearing doors slam at that time, it certainly didn't come from you.

    Another approach is to have the husband come over to your place and open and close the door in what he'd consider a normal way, while his wife listens from their apartment. If he tells her that he closed the door softly, and she still thinks it slammed, perhaps that will convince her that you've done all you could.

    If your neighbor still complains, repeat the process with the apartment manager, first having him be the one who closes your door in various ways while someone else listens, and second having him be the one who listens while someone else closes your door as they usually do.

    The trouble is the light construction of the apartment building, plus the random timing of various doors opening and closing. It's hard enough achieving visual privacy in apartment living – acoustical privacy is almost impossible unless you're in a luxury building with professional soundproofing. Sounds from TV and CD players, toilets and showers, people walking around, even conversations, go right through the walls and floors. Up at the top of the page here, you can see a box "Search Y! Answers". If you plug in "apartment neighbors noise" you'll find many, many postings about this issue, with very few workable solutions.

    Do you ever hear their baby crying, or are you lucky enough to be next door to a quiet baby?

  • Casey
    Lv 6
    9 years ago

    Talk to the landlord and say that it is not you that is slamming the door and that you don't understand why your neighbors keep complaining that it is you. Chances are, management has had problems with the couple in the past, so they'll probably be sympathetic towards you and won't take your neighbor's complaint seriously.

    I wouldn't change anything about the way I live or close my door. If they come knocking again to complain, say, "Look, we are not the only ones who live here and there are other people that come in and out. Go talk to someone else about your issues, because we are not causing any noise."

    Plus, that's ridiculous. A door slam, if it really is happening, is like 2 seconds long. It's not like it's an hour-long party. Yeesh.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    To be fair, in crappily-built buildings, or buildings converted into apartments that weren't originally intended to be, noise can be a problem. My neighbours had the same problem with me. I had no idea how loud my normal door usage was to them upstairs. We were friends tho, so it was OK. We just made a point of being very gentle with the doors.

    You could go into their apartment, and have your husband shut doors with varying degrees of strength. So you can hear what they hear. It may be you're not to blame, and this will prove it to the neighbours. You could even have her husband in your apartment, just to make sure it's all fair. It may well be your reasonable door-usage does sound loud to them cos of the bad construction your homes both suffer from. It could be nobody's fault, except the original builders.

    If it turns out it isn't you, then you'll have proved this, and they'll be able to talk to the real culprit.

    Obviously with a baby, they're not going to be getting enough sleep, and the noise is going to wake the baby up, so you can see why they'd be angry, even if it isn't your fault. Whoever's to blame, it must be driving them mad.

    There's not much worse in life than bad neighbours. Talking and keeping friends is really the easiest way to live together. At least they complained to your face before the housing office. Many don't! I hate that! It shows they're willing to address the problem with you, they're not just nutcases. You should probably talk to your landlord yourself, just to get your side of the story in. So your landlord can realise you're considerate, reasonable people and not just problem idiot tenants.

    As I've said, I think a practical, non-confrontational solution to the problem is best. People are OK if they feel you're listening to them. Good luck!

    Source(s): Bitter experience. And a punch in the face from a drunken neighbour!
  • 9 years ago

    slam the door, then go and ask her if she heard it, then tell her that that is slamming the door!!!!! Every time you hear a door slam, knock on her door and complain about her being a rude neighbour, not being respectful of a family with an 8 year old. I would relax, and ease up on your 8 year old. You can hear everything in an apartment building. The lady is probably overtired.

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    "The best defence is a rabid OFFENCE"

    Make a complaint about them EVERY time they come to you complaining about the alleged "door slamming" !!

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    tell them to shut the **** up with that crap or youll come over and empty a handgun in there faces.

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