Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender Studies · 9 years ago

If men "wish women would be direct,"?

...then why exactly is it okay for them to buy us drinks, dinner, you name it, never DIRECTLY state that they don't actually want us to accept if we're not going to have sex with them, and then get mad at us for saying "thank you" and going home alone??

Why are we just supposed to be mind readers in that situation?

Update:

Since you all clearly stated it makes no sense for a woman to say "I'm fine" when she's not, surely you guys can understand this logic...

If a guy says "Would you like to go to dinner with me?" nowhere in there did he say "I'll buy you dinner if you have sex with me." So it would be...what's that word...ILLOGICAL to expect a woman to just know that's what you meant.

Update 2:

That didn't even make any sense, lala. No one's blaming him for not paying. I'm blaming him for paying and then expecting the woman to figure out he did that because he expects to have sex in return.

Update 3:

"With most men, that is the case, so you don't have to result to being a mind reader. You should wise enough by now to just know it ahead of time."

And with most women, the wanting the guy to prove he really cares thing is the case, but all these guys are claiming women have to change because they think it's stupid that they should have to ask again.

This goes both ways. BOTH genders expect the other to mind read at time.

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  • 9 years ago
    Best Answer

    Either you've been dating some really sleazy men, or else you are making this whole hypothetical situation up in order to rationalize what you said earlier.

    I don't know of any men who got upset that they took a girl out for dinner, and she just went home afterwards. Are you really saying that you are regularly mistaken for a prostitute?

    I assume that most men ask a woman out because they found her attractive, and they were hoping to form a romantic relationship somewhere down the road (Did you really think that he took you out in order to give you his sales pitch for a time share condo development in Reno?), and maybe they got upset because they got the impression that the woman was never really interested in them in the first place, or that she rejected them because of some superficial or trivial thing, but I seem to recall that women have the same reaction if her first date went well (from her perspective) but the guy never called back.

    You seem to be bending over backwards in order to justify playing games, that is all. I have never personally met any men like the kind that you describe here.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    OP - You bring up some very interesting points here that I never really thought about. As a man, it is very difficult to read what a woman may be thinking when she clearly tells you the opposite of your intuition. However, when men become upset because a woman won't have sex with him after a date, I think this is due to society's notion that if you take a girl out and treat her right, you WILL get at least a kiss. Obviously, this is not the case. While I agree there is a huge double standard, I don;t necessarily agree with it.

  • Sam
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Some of those women may need to step back and re-evaluate the kind of person they are projecting that they are to these people they date. It could be the way you dress, the way you talk, your mannerisms. There are lots of tell tale signals that women send to men that say "do me", yet doesn't want it. Some women "flirt" with out ever even knowing it. But those sort of guys who expect sex, no matter what, aren't really worth going to dinner with again. Why have a free meal when afterward it's just going to make you feel bad for turning him down or thinking he's a pig?

  • ***
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    With most men, that is the case, so you don't have to result to being a mind reader. You should wise enough by now to just know it ahead of time.

    I once heard a very true and funny joke by a comedian, (years ago, can't remember his name.)

    "Women are all psychic. They always know weather or not they are going to get laid on a date."

    Basically meaning that so long as they say "yes".

    Being a male over 40 now, I have come to recognize and understand that men and women are very different on some basic levels. Men (in general) NEED sex, and women (in general) can take it or leave it.

    Just be aware, and plan accordingly.

    All the best to you.

    Source(s): My life.
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  • 9 years ago

    You're assuming that people who want women to be more direct are the same people who expect them to put out after being given a meal.

  • 9 years ago

    Actually i dont know who you are dating, but i usually "date" a woman to get her to know... not to get into her panties..

    Of course it works both ways... as everything between men and women...

    Because this this questions are actually unnecessary. Because we actually know what man and women will say (except a few who really think about it and try to answer in a not influenced way)

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Are you telling whenever a man offers to buy a woman a drink or pay for dinner, he always has the secret intention to bed her asap? I kind of suspected there were women who thought like that, but thanks for giving me living proof.

  • lala
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Many poor excuse for blaming men to be generous ;polite and gentleman ;;;;;;;;;;but when a guy doesn't pay a drink to a woman ; he is a jerk . ITS a NO win situation for a ,man

    Source(s): I am a woman
  • 9 years ago

    Your just Naive......

    Every woman on earth...knows...and should know...that every man...from that sensitive friend who listens to all your problems.....to the ashole at work/school who keeps groping you.....wants only one thing....and that is to get laid.....and with the closest viable option...

    basically any woman they even bother to chat up (exception to the rule;- unless they are already getting it elsewhere)

    And as its socially regressive to say..."hey let me get you dinner and a movie...so that later you would be at the least slightly obligated to bong me"....they say "hey wanna go out".....and the woman's response it...."sure take me out...we'll see if you can convince to bonk you" is "sure"...or the don't even waste my time" options of the infamous "sorry kind of busy".....lines

    every woman on earth is the progressive prostitute...and expects to be shown a good time...before they give up any.....

    and yes...that includes the guy who is all loving and caring....and wants to "save yourselves for after marriage".....1/2...he is wanking off to you.....

    Source(s): Life/Dating 101.....
  • Ned F
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    I don't know what kind of men that you are dating, but I never got insulted if she simply said "thank you" and went home.

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