Missy
Lv 4
Missy asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

what do you think of this poem?

Swirling around and around,

A hurricane with only garbled sound,

Oh I wish I could touch the ground,

Life is like a hurricane

Everyday seems the same,

Like playing the same game,

Oh what a shame,

Life is like a hurricane,

It is so strange,

This life with out a change,

It is time to rearrange,

Life is like a hurricane,

Every color swirls by,

Then I let out a little sigh,

When did all that time go by?

Life is like a hurricane,

Swirling, whirling around,

Oh how I wish I could touch the ground.

3 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Best Answer

    I like the way you manage to make it work, but I think with your potential you could write something a little more modern, maybe stick something about the world we live in, or something to make us realise what your life is like.

    You know, something like:

    Life is like a hurricane

    grabbing car keys, fighting strain

    round the roundabout again

    life is like a hurricane.

  • 9 years ago

    This is actually really good:) maybe if you switch some words up so every line doesnt ryhmee other than that it's good

  • 9 years ago

    good

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.