Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 9 years ago

(Guy) Should I stay a virgin and wait for one as well? girl answers and opinions only?

This is a bit long. But I’m venting for the last time. Please read all, and I need allot of women’s responses.

As a kid I wanted to help out single moms because I saw how hard it was for my own, and felt that women were mistreated in this world. So this is always my end game, to help people in general and be a good guy. I stay true to the value and aims. And will help people on a large scale one day. But I also wanted to be what I believed was a good man. And not objectify, monopolise and womanise girls. I promised never to be a player, and I always fantasised about being with one woman that I’d marry, love and dedicate to.

But these are promises from an 8 year old. 18, the “hormones” aren’t dying down. I have a huge sex drive, and would need a girl to satisfy me daily when at it, at least 2, up 4 times. And 1 session has to at least 1-1.5 hours. Don’t ask me how I know these figures, I just do. I’m athletic. 6ft and a body builder/boxer/gymnast. Also, I feel maybe a bit too arrogant about my body though I would never express this, but it comes across very vividly and I lose most of my control when in front of girls. Girls respond to the confidence and so I just try to stay away because I want to wait for the perfect girl who’s also waited for me.

So many married women and women in general want or wanted to have an affair with me behind their spouse, and in the moment, I really don’t care about what they’re doing. I feel my charisma allows women to trust me more, which is what I want, but I don’t want to misuse that. And what does it say about me when I’m with women such as these. But if I were to fall in love and commit to a girl who’s not a virgin, I would feel jealousy, and be conscious about myself. I’m 7.8” by 6.1 girth and it would kill me to know if my girls been with some one bigger. Every human would, so don’t tell me I shouldn’t; I’ve tried getting round the thought and haven’t been able too. If I had sex more generally, I honestly wouldn’t care about her past because we’d be even, but I’d also not care about women in the same way, and be able to leave allot easier due to it. It’s breaking my heart trying to decide, and my libido is my worst enemy. I’m a bit addicted, trying to shut myself down so I don’t make any wrong decisions permanently, but I like this feature, I always imagined I’d drive my girl crazy by being her best friend and addicted to her, f@cking for hours every day and keeping it interesting.

I’m not saying sex is bad before marriage, I think it’s something women can only do though. I believe the more sex men have the more disconnection they experience towards women. I feel this myself. And it’s getting hard now, I’ve been denying allot of women since 15, early 20’s and realizing what for? There is no girl like me realistically, and I’m not religious. I don’t want to be with someone who 16 and I need someone who can commit to love and sex. But this person won’t be a virgin which is my only hang up. It would break my mind eventually till I leave. It’s just me and what I want. I’m competitive, and very emotional.

Going to college, and in general being around allot more women frequently, should I give up? If I stay without a partner for the rest of my life due to this, people will think I have hang ups or problems which I don’t. In most cases I suppose people do. But if become a player who’s respectful, I might be seen as fake. And if I’m working with women to make this a better world, I don’t want to be seen as a hypocrite. But I know this for a fact, if I’d become a player, fine, but I won’t ever have my own self-respect to ever have kids, or even commit to a women. Just to satisfy my needs, which are also to make women orgasm. Does this not make me a bad human and a bad man more importantly, to never commit? I need to decide, because I don’t want to miss any more opportunities, and need peace with a definitive decision.

Also, by holding myself back, I find myself having crushes on every other girl who is cute. This and my urges, its honesty killing me.

9 Answers

  • bri
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think you should do whatever feel right for you. No-one else can decide when you should lose your virginity or to whom.

    When planning your future life you should not expect to dictate the frequency and duration of lovemaking. it is a joint experience and you will need to compromise with your partners needs. However if you feel you have a high libido you should be careful not to team up with a girl who has a low one.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Being straight do have hang ups or you would be behaving like every other red blooded 18 year old. I respect your feelings towards women but..and it's a big need a healthy sex life. Let go of your fears and chill. Meet a nice girl who understands the rules and have some fun. The rules being that at this sort of age it's ok and healthy to want to explore your sexuality and others sexualities too. If you are honest and your intentions are clear then it will be done with integrity. Sexual connection with another is lovely and beautiful. Life can be so complex and confusing for people of all ages. I do wonder if all that pent up testosterone isn't helping your head x

  • 9 years ago

    In college you'd be surprised at the amount of girls who just want a good time and nothing more... if you want to just f*** around a lot of girls will be open to that. However it's also a lot easier to make connections (emotional) with people in college, so you shouldn't push aside your hopes to find that perfect girl just yet.

    Chances are, however, that she will have previous sexual experience, even if she's still a virgin, though I doubt she'd fault you for not being one.

    Basically I think as long as you restrict doing sexual stuff with women who are looking for the same thing as you are (sexual release only) you'll be fine. Don't mess with girls' heads whom you know like you; that would be playing with their emotions.

  • 9 years ago

    Most girls, the romantic type that doesn't love to take it far, and likes to take it slower than others will find that very sweet that you actually kept your virginity for her. Even if other people pick on you, just ignore them, and don't listen to them, they don't own your life, do they? no. So don't let them get in your way. Anyways, girls who calls you names, their just sl*ts that don't know what their talking about.

    I am the type of girl who wants to save my virginity until i am married, and I want the guy to be a virgin too, just saying, I know you didn't ask but you said opinions, and things.


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  • 9 years ago

    i think its great that you want to wait. the thing is, you should still date. just becasue you're trying to have a relationship with a girl, doesn't mean you have to have sex with her. whats funny is, you said you figured that there would be no girl in the world, realistically, that would be what you want, unless she has had sex herself, but this isn't nessesarily true. if she's a virgin, theres a good chance that she will be in the same position as you, so that when you do you see where i'm going with this?

  • 9 years ago

    i would imagine Saving yourself for someone whos saved themselves for you is an amazing experience. i myself am 18 and still a virgin, i wanted to find someone like me. i was lucky enough to find someone i really love and he also happens to be a virgin. at times i kno it may feel like there are NO virgins left ANYwhere but they are out there, you just hav to look harder.

    if wat you want is sex AND love, i suggest you do wait for the right girl because once you find each other you will be glad you waited. then wat you will hav with that girl will be all the more special because you gave yourselves to each other in your purest forms (sorry if im gettin a little corny on you but thats wat i think haha)

  • 9 years ago

    actually i think if you find the right girl she'd lovee to find out you're a virgin.

    and if guys tease you so whatt! they dnt pay your bills haha

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    i find virgins extremely cute.. as in hot.


    guys are ***** so don't worry about what they say

  • Bailey
    Lv 5
    9 years ago

    i want the one guy i want to marry to be a virgin. i want to know that i would be his first. who cares what others think.


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