(Guy) Should I stay a virgin and wait for one as well? girl answers and opinions only?

This is a bit long. But I’m venting for the last time. Please read all, and I need allot of women’s responses. As a kid I wanted to help out single moms because I saw how hard it was for my own, and felt that women were mistreated in this world. So this is always my end game, to help people in general and be a... show more This is a bit long. But I’m venting for the last time. Please read all, and I need allot of women’s responses.
As a kid I wanted to help out single moms because I saw how hard it was for my own, and felt that women were mistreated in this world. So this is always my end game, to help people in general and be a good guy. I stay true to the value and aims. And will help people on a large scale one day. But I also wanted to be what I believed was a good man. And not objectify, monopolise and womanise girls. I promised never to be a player, and I always fantasised about being with one woman that I’d marry, love and dedicate to.
But these are promises from an 8 year old. 18, the “hormones” aren’t dying down. I have a huge sex drive, and would need a girl to satisfy me daily when at it, at least 2, up 4 times. And 1 session has to at least 1-1.5 hours. Don’t ask me how I know these figures, I just do. I’m athletic. 6ft and a body builder/boxer/gymnast. Also, I feel maybe a bit too arrogant about my body though I would never express this, but it comes across very vividly and I lose most of my control when in front of girls. Girls respond to the confidence and so I just try to stay away because I want to wait for the perfect girl who’s also waited for me.
So many married women and women in general want or wanted to have an affair with me behind their spouse, and in the moment, I really don’t care about what they’re doing. I feel my charisma allows women to trust me more, which is what I want, but I don’t want to misuse that. And what does it say about me when I’m with women such as these. But if I were to fall in love and commit to a girl who’s not a virgin, I would feel jealousy, and be conscious about myself. I’m 7.8” by 6.1 girth and it would kill me to know if my girls been with some one bigger. Every human would, so don’t tell me I shouldn’t; I’ve tried getting round the thought and haven’t been able too. If I had sex more generally, I honestly wouldn’t care about her past because we’d be even, but I’d also not care about women in the same way, and be able to leave allot easier due to it. It’s breaking my heart trying to decide, and my libido is my worst enemy. I’m a bit addicted, trying to shut myself down so I don’t make any wrong decisions permanently, but I like this feature, I always imagined I’d drive my girl crazy by being her best friend and addicted to her, f@cking for hours every day and keeping it interesting.
I’m not saying sex is bad before marriage, I think it’s something women can only do though. I believe the more sex men have the more disconnection they experience towards women. I feel this myself. And it’s getting hard now, I’ve been denying allot of women since 15, early 20’s and realizing what for? There is no girl like me realistically, and I’m not religious. I don’t want to be with someone who 16 and I need someone who can commit to love and sex. But this person won’t be a virgin which is my only hang up. It would break my mind eventually till I leave. It’s just me and what I want. I’m competitive, and very emotional.
Going to college, and in general being around allot more women frequently, should I give up? If I stay without a partner for the rest of my life due to this, people will think I have hang ups or problems which I don’t. In most cases I suppose people do. But if become a player who’s respectful, I might be seen as fake. And if I’m working with women to make this a better world, I don’t want to be seen as a hypocrite. But I know this for a fact, if I’d become a player, fine, but I won’t ever have my own self-respect to ever have kids, or even commit to a women. Just to satisfy my needs, which are also to make women orgasm. Does this not make me a bad human and a bad man more importantly, to never commit? I need to decide, because I don’t want to miss any more opportunities, and need peace with a definitive decision.

Also, by holding myself back, I find myself having crushes on every other girl who is cute. This and my urges, its honesty killing me.
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