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Teen relationship advice; I appreciate ANY advice from ANYone!?

Let's call this guy I like Bob and my friend Jane. Bob is just another stupid jock, to some people. To me, he's a LOT different. Around me, he's really natural and you don't have to pretend to be somebody you're not. He's always making fun of me and we have hundreds of inside jokes from the past. He's really a sweet guy if you get to know him. Around others, he's the class clown, a ladies' man, a trouble maker. I used to see him that way but then I got to know him and realized, like in most cases, there's more than what meets the eye.

Now for Jane; she's been a good friend for quite some time. Actually, she's probably been my friend since I started liking Bob so many years back. She's quite a bit like me but she's a bit more outgoing. Not that I'm some super shy freak hiding in a shell or anything, she's just a really outgoing person! Nice, smart, pretty girl with a sense of humor.

Bob and I used to go out, but we were young (7th grade) and I was uncomfortable having a boyfriend at that age so that didn't work out. There really was never any real breakup between us so we remained good friends. The summer after, he asked me (over facebook) if there were any chance I'd ever go out with him again. I, being a complete idiot, said maybe but don't count on it. I was going through an "in denial" moment where I told all my friends I was over him. One year after the breakup, he acts a bit different around me but in a good way definitely. He's like how he used to be but 10x better...really it's probably just the fact that I'm not so awkward and I don't blush every time he talks to me! (he always said that was the reason it never worked out, I was just too dang shy, so I changed it!)

So, I've liked Bob for a really long time and now Jane does too. Jane knew I used to like Bob, and I'm sure she knows I still do, even though I told her I didn't, because of the way I act around him. I don't mind her knowing that I like him, but I wonder if she might just get mad at me. (I did like him first though...but I didn't tell her that) Usually I don't get jealous when Bob talks to other girls, I mean a LOT of girls have liked him over the years. I had to get used to it! But he acts different around Jane than around other girls. He acts like he does... around me. He "flirts" with hot girls that he doesn't like, like but he doesn't get to actually know them and care about them like me and my friend, Jane. It worries me that he might be actually moving on for good, after all our ups and downs over the past 3 1/2 years. This actually worries me more than when he had a girlfriend last month. Captain of the cheer team doesn't scare me... but a girl like me does. I knew him and the other girl were just gonna be a fling, nothing special. It's the fact that my friend is a good person actually, not a *****!

The 3 of us are actually good friends. In one of our classes that we all sit near each other, we talk and joke nonstop. There's no jealousy really when it's the 3 of us talking... but when he stops talking to me or stops talking to her, the other one of us gets a bit upset. I love being his friend too though... I just don't wanna lose him. I'll be jealous if she's the one who ends up with him but I can't lose him! Whether he's my boyfriend or #1 guy friend, I don't care, he needs to be a part of my life... And my friend! I need them both. Any advice? (sorry for the long post, it's really just a way for me to vent out my feelings for him!!!)

Update:

So pretty much, your advice is:

-Wait for Jane to move on then get Bob. (b/c she probably will eventually)

-Be friends with Bob and let Jane have him.

-Like Bob but remain friends with Jane if I can.

1 Answer

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    If she's really your friend, then she'll want you to just be happy overall. So I say talk to Bob and tell him how you feel, like how you're jealous and all and have always liked him and such and want to try a real relationship with him. I mean, you've had so much feelings for him for quite a long time now and Jane really hasn't. I say go out with him if you both are comfortable with that/want to do that. If he says yes and you guys are dating-then yay :) But, you could ask him before that if he likes Jane like that and if he doesn't then another yay :P if he does, then ask him if he has more feelings for her or you. If he has more feelings for you, then definitely date him :) but tell Jane what he said, or maybe he should tell her himself. Like "hey Jane I do/don't like you like that (which ever one is true) and then if he doesn't, she'll have to accept this and move on. If he says he likes her but likes you more, then she'll have to accept that too. You've known him longer and had more feelings for him than she has. But he needs to make up his mind and go with who he feels happy with. I'm sure he really likes one of you and not just more than the other but actually is hardcore in love with one of you :) So, talk to him and get the answers you need to know and with the answer, do what is right. If he likes Jane more and wants a relationship with her, then fine-move on and try to find someone else. If he wants only you and not her-then good, you guys can have a real relationship and such.

    Good luck w/everything!

    Source(s): I love my soulmate Dennis forever and always <3
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