Dear ramadan plz help?

ramadan plz read and answer if u r sincere..no rude answers thanks.. ramadan im a 21 y/o Muslim.. and i try my best to be a good Muslim at all times.. ramadan i have had depression since i was 12.. but i didnt tell anyone.. ever.. u see it is not really outwardly obvious ramadan.. so no one would be able to... show more ramadan plz read and answer if u r sincere..no rude answers thanks..

ramadan im a 21 y/o Muslim.. and i try my best to be a good Muslim at all times..
ramadan i have had depression since i was 12.. but i didnt tell anyone.. ever.. u see it is not really outwardly obvious ramadan.. so no one would be able to guess unless they are like really smart or some.
ramadan i am ashamed of this horrible disease..it causes me to isolate myself from the world and push ppl who i care about away from me ramadan. i dont feel worthy of being loved. i have no close friends and im not really close with my family.. ramadan i feel close to Allah alhamdolilah.. but i sometimes wander if its cuz ive been forced to be.. as i am not really social and prefer doing my own thing..
ramadan wat do i do about these voices in my head.. they are constantly there and its like there is always a battle going on up there and yet no one knos it.. ramadan when i talk to ppl i have much to say ramadan but i dont say it because i kno no one cares and what i say is insignificent..
i want to do well.. i have goals inshAllah.. i am studying at uni but i feel like i am failing badly ramadan..

i feel so hurt ramadan..
how do i overcome this sadness and escape this ramadan?
thanks for reading i kno it was long. plz only serious answers and no b/s
thanks dear
Update: ramadan i also lack confidence and have low self esteem and ppl say im pretty but i dont believe them ramadan. i feel so ugly and unwanted =(
Update 2: Yusef- what makes u think im trolling.. thanks for ur help. not.
i cant talk to my doctor because i dont want to tell anyone i have depression.. and doctors dont care anyway they will just prescribe me some dumb pills which i wont take..cuz thats not my thing.

thanks anyway brother. not that u helped,
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